Boy In My Class [Gerard Way]

Chapter 18: Make a Difference

"Izzy!!!!!"

I ran up the driveway and embraced her in a tight hug. Tears formed in my eyes.

"I'm so happy to see you!" I squealed.

"Your British accent is stronger than it was last time I saw you," she grinned, pulling me inside the house. I was in New Jersey, visiting Holly for the first time since I had finished at NYU. It was January, and New Jersey was covered in snow just like I had last seen it when I spent Christmas with Gerard,

"Holly I've missed you so much," I smiled, hugging her again. We went to her room and caught up on a lot of things. She told me about how Annie and Frank were still a couple, how Sophia had gotten a job offer in Chicago and hadn't spoken to Holly since she moved, and how she had broken up with the guy she was seeing. She didn't mention Gerard, but she mentioned what happened in September.

"Oh Izz, it was horrible," she said, her eyes glistening as tears began to form. "We were all watching, the whole town was silent. Annie lost her brother."

I remained silent, feeling guilty that I hadn't spoken to Annie since about a week after I moved home. We talked for a few hours about what had happened, and eventually I decided that I wanted a cigarette and dragged Holly to the store with me. On the way there, we passed Gerard's house. I felt so nervous knowing that he was probably in there. A few metres away from me.

"He's not there," Holly said, noticing that I was longingly staring at Gerard's bedroom window.

"Where is he?" I asked, my stomach tightening.

"He left," she shrugged. "I honestly have no idea where he went. Ray, Mikey, and Frank left too. Annie went with them."

"You don't know where?" I asked, bewildered.

"Nope," she shrugged. "Don't tell me that you and Gerard don't talk anymore? If you and Gerard don't talk I'm gonna blow my brains out because I'm gonna lose faith in everything."

I looked at her with a sad look in my eyes.

"I called him on September 11th," I said. "I think he took it badly. He hasn't spoken to me. He doesn't care about me, Hol."

She looked agitated and a little upset.

"I thought he did," she said. "I really thought he did."

Gerard's P.O.V

September 11th, 2001

Waking up, I felt sadness crash over me instantly. Every day I woke up and was instantly hit by a feeling of sadness and depression. Since graduating from NYU, everything had gone downhill. I had given up on my dream of becoming a comic book artist and was working for the Cartoon Network, drawing crappy images for a crappy corporation. Isabel had gone back to England and we had lost touch. I know I could pick up the phone and call her at any moment, but how could I? How could I tell her that I was working for some shitty major corporation? How could I tell her that I was depressed? I was no good for her anymore.

I dragged myself out of bed, got dressed, picked up my sketchbook and headed out. I had to take the 8.30am ferry from New Jersey to Manhattan to get to work. As usual, I boarded the ferry and sat down to aimlessly draw sketches in my notebook. 

I felt sleepy, and closed my eyes. I began to drift off, falling into sleep....

"Oh my god look!"

I woke up suddenly to the sound of a woman shrieking. She was pointing towards Manhattan. I turned in my seat to look at what she was pointing at. There was smoke, lots of it. It was coming from one of the towers at the World Trade Center. In my sleep-deprived state, I didn't believe what I was seeing.

"What happened?!" someone shouted.

"It was a plane!" someone else called. "A plane hit the building!"

"Stop the ferry, take it back to Jersey!"

Some people were shouting, some people were stood silent. Despite people requesting that the ferry stop and go back, it continued and we all alighted in NYC. Some people were running towards the towers, others were running elsewhere. The streets were lined with people staring upwards. In a daze, I followed the crowd towrds the area. I had forgotten about getting to work.

I aimlessly walked down the street, watching people stare. I felt like I couldn't hear anything; like everything around me had stopped. People were crying. Why were people crying? 

It hadn't yet sunk in what was going on. Why are people crying? That's all I kept thinking. It had gone quiet but now people were screaming again. I looked up at the towers. The south tower was smoking. Was it smoking before? I thought it was the north tower. They were both smoking.

"Did you see that?!" someone screamed, grabbing me and shaking me. "Did you see the second plane?"

I stared at her like she was insane. Plane? Second plane? What the hell is she on about?

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to see that Mikey was calling. I ignored it. He called again. I ignored it several times as I was too busy staring around at all of the people's faces. My phone vibrated again. I checked the screen to see that Isabel was calling me.

Isabel? She hadn't called me in months. Why was she calling now? I ignored it. She called again. I ignored it. She called again and in frustration I picked up the phone.

"H-hello?" I stuttered.

"Gerard!" she shouted, sounding hysterical.

"Izzy, Izzy what's up?" I asked, as if everything was normal.

"Gerard I've just seen the news, I need to know you're alright," she cried. The news? What's on the news? Why is she so upset?

"I...I'm fine," I responded. As I said this, I noticed a woman in front of me on the pavement break down into tears and fall on the floor. "Izzy I have to go," I said, snapping my phone shut quickly. I went over to the woman and bent down next to her.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She didn't stop crying. I couldn't comfort her so I just kept walking. I walked for just under an hour until I was about 200 metres from the towers. I looked up at the buildings and what I saw shook me. What I thought was falling debris from the building was bodies. Human bodies. They were falling from what must have been a thousand feet high. I heard the crashes as their bodies hit the floor, but I didn't dare look to see where they had landed. Then, out of nowhere, a roaring sound filled the air. I looked up and saw nothing but huge clouds of grey smoke. People started to run. I ran with them for a while. When I turned around, I looked up to see what had caused such a mass cloud of smoke and ash. In horror I realised that one of the towers was gone.

I had to go home. 

I ran and ran until I was back on a ferry to New Jersey. Guys were on the phone to their girlfriends proposing to them. Others were crying. As soon as the ferry journey ended I ran home. When I burst through the door my mother hugged me tighter than I'd ever been hugged before. My father cried. He never cried. Mikey was crying.

I went to my room to try and process the information. I heard mom saying that the second tower had collapsed. I didn't know how to cope.

So I started to write.

I was writing and I had no idea what it was meant to be. But I realised- it was a song. I was writing about what I'd seen to try and ease the pain. 

I went to Mikey's room. He was still crying. I showed him what I had written and he stopped crying.

"Gerard, this is amazing," he said.

"I'm wasting my life Mikey," I said. "I don't want to be working for the Cartoon Network, wasting my life. I need to make a difference."

"You need people to hear this," Mikey said, pointing to the sheet of paper where I had scribbled my writing onto. "You need to start a band."