Handcuffed Bliss - Watty Awards... 2012

Married to HIM! - My destiny - Nano Wrimo

"Rudra, honey, your dad wants to talk to you. Please sit with us for a bit." my mum said sounding depressed. Her voice was flat and dull. It was actually very scary. I obeyed as I went to sit cross legged on the floor next to the couch that my parents occupied. I looked up and saw two grim faces starring down at me. They looked uncomfortable. As if they did not know how to begin.

I waited patiently.

Finally after what seemed like a long silent hour dad began," Uh… ug… you see child; this economic downturn in the USA is messing up my business. I have never hidden anything from you and do not plan to start now. I had invested in some securities and when the markets crashed and banks claimed insolvency, we lost a lot of money. We even lost money in our hotel business. Recession means no tourism. No money. We are a financial mess child and I fear that if things do not improve, we will have to... I don't know what." He broke this news to me and shamefully hid his face in his hands. Mom put her arms around him and held him tight.

In that one moment, I was jealous. Not of the rich, but of my parents. They had an arranged marriage. They had not even met before their marriage and yet they were a pillar of strength to each other. Never had I seen tantrums or fights or anything. They were happy and content; till now. Even in this mess, they still had one another. I knew that they would fight together like they always did. They were a team.

I wanted someone like this with me too. But for now, I had to help them in any way I could. "Dad, don’t worry, we will find a solution and soon. Till then, we can all go in for budget cuts. And don't worry; I am planning to work with you for a year or two after this final year in school before I join college. So we don't even have to worry about the application money. Oh, and did I tell you this? I have signed up for an environment friendly group and I have decided to reuse, recycle and reduce. And I am planning to walk to school the whole of next year. So I lose a few extra pounds and also save the environment. Right?"

He starred at me and then laughed. I like that sound, hadn't heard it in a while now. "Trust a women at attach everything, I mean everything, to her weight. You attached the loss of funds to environment and then twisted it around your weight. Haahaha... Baccha (Hindi for child) you are awesome."

"But this is only half of the problem. The other half involves you. You see, I have found us a financer. You met him, at the party last month." He continued. I tried to think… and then I remembered a hot and handsome man, maybe 33 or something. He was dark, handsome and 6 foot 4" of pure male hotness. He was a grave person. No smile, barely any manners.

I shook my head to clear it of his thought and concentrated on what my papa was saying," Well, you see, he wants to marry you...."

Whoa! Wait a second. Did I hear him right?? I stared at them in shock. What are they talking about? They must have seen my expression for Mom began,

 "Baccha, see, I understand you are only 18, you turned major a week back and you have loads of dreams and everything. But girl, you must remember that marriage for an Indian girl is very important. We have the right to arrange your wedding; it has been our dream for you since you were a little toddler."

"So what mother??" I whispered… Where was this going?

"Child, I know you will get angry and throw a tantrum or two, but you see, we have no choice. One, because he holds all our lives in balance one wrong move from him and we are all doomed. By ‘we’, I also mean your grandparents and the entire Rathore clan. We have to save them. If by you marrying him, we get some boost in regard to our business, we will all be able to live in peace. Please child, marry him, please." she begged with tears in her eyes.

This was happening way too fast. It was a nightmare. I did not want to marry a man so much older than me. What kind of a pedophile was he? Mum and dad were crying now, I felt like a heel. Don't get me wrong, I ain't no miss goody two shoes. No I have been a rebel for 4 years, drinking, partying, street racing, black jack, poker, et al. I did all even though my culture doesn't allow a girl to do this, well; we were allowed to drink, but only with women, and after a certain age, never as children. Gambling too was allowed and was tradition, but again not in casinos as a 14 year old, or younger.

I went through this whole period of hating who I was till my 18th birthday. I changed. It wasn't sudden, but it was there.

I did not want to hurt them, but I wasn't ready for this sacrifice, for divorce would never be an option, my family would kill me before I came home disgraced. Also, I couldn't run away, that would put my parents to shame in front of the whole Indian community in USA and Canada, where our relatives resided. I did not see a way out. I looked at them, begging them with my eyes to let me be.

"Baccha, please understand, please, we need this money to save our family. It’s the only way. You will be allowed to complete your school as I have paid your fees. But further studies and your life henceforth will depend upon your husband. Please girl. I am your father; I will not harm you or your interests. Marrying him ensures that no matter what, you will be safe. So please say yes. You will have to marry him in court tomorrow at 12pm sharp. I accept your full consent till then." Dad spoke.

His last words were harsh and stinging. He did not leave me a choice. I had to marry. He had ordered and also given the man his word. I would have to follow through. "Very well, what am I to wear and what is his name?" I spoke in a resigned voice. What else was I to do? I had always known I would be married because my family wished it, but I never imagined that I would be married off like this.

I, Rudra, loved by Lord Shiva, his namesake in his angry form, his consort when he is the healer, the remover of pain, as my name translates was brought up like a princess, but a princess bound to her father at birth and her husband in marriage. That was the reason I had rebelled. Now, I lost. I was here, bowing in front of my fate. Well, no one ever won against her, who was I to even try?

I would be married to a man I did not know in under 12 hours. What can I say? I have no choice.

I would remove the pains of my family.

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Rudra Rathore's story....