Handcuffed Bliss - Watty Awards... 2012

Life without MOM.....

Caroline's POV:

I stood there, on the steps, stunned and shocked. This wasn't a joke at all. He was behaving like a demon. Never had I seen him like this, so cold and distant. Not even in these past 10 years after Lily Mom's death was he this evil. 

Rude, yes. Mean, yes. Scary, yes. But never evil. Never like this. He kicked mom out. We are even forbidden to meet. How can I meet her if he threatens her family. My baby brother or sister would be harmed too. How come he doesn't care? 

THese questions and more kept pounding my head. I did not even realise when I walked into Ma's bedroom and when I held her favorite teddy and slept.

The deafening silence soon became a part of my life. I spoke to no one. No one spoke to me. I would sleep till dad left and lock my room as soon as I heard him enter the house. He tried to speak to me sometimes. But, I couldn't bare to stand in the same room as him.

I had spoken to Mom and my friends and they were shocked and sad and refused to come home to his house. I would sneak out to church and temple and meet them too...

I had begun to pray a lot lately. Never thought I would but it became my solace and soon I was friends with priests in the church and temple. I visited my mom's grave too. Begging her to send my angel back to me. Apologising for my sins, for being jealous of my angel.

I wanted my baby brother or sister with me, I wanted my Rudy Mom's arms around me. I didn't like being alone. I had been like this way too long. I hated my father for this. Hated him with a passion now.

On that fateful day when I was walking home from the temple, a car suddenly zoomed past me. It went so fast that momentarily I was taken aback. It stopped at a distance and reveresed towards me. It halted when it reached me. The window to the car opened and I saw Andy.

I froze in horror. This was the first time in over 6 months that I was facing Andy. Sweat beaded my head as my palms became sweaty. The prayer basket in my hand felt heavy as my heart began to thud. Seeing him brought back old memories, painful memories.

When he laughed, I noticed he wasn't alone. I loud cackle was heard too. I looked inside and saw my supposed best friend Maggi inside. She was laughing at me. She was the same one who had called me slut when dad begged her to meet me. She was dating Andy I guess. Well, his hand was on her thigh and her on his crotch.

I didn't care about him today. I only feared those past bad memories. I turned to walk away when Andy spoke," Hei slut, running away? I thought maybe I could invite you for a threesome? You're ass is the best." He cackled asshame filled me.

I ran away without waiting for a response. The only thought in my head was to run home, to the safety of mom's arms. I ran and ran. Picturising Mom's smile, her arms, her rose scent. Rudra mom, I whispered, I need you now.

I stopped running only when I reached home. I walked inside and yelled,"MOM" but there was no response. I yelled again, searching from room to room. I went to the garden, maybe she fell asleep on the swing. She was nowhere. 

THen it hit, she wasn't living with me now. I needed her, but because of dad, I had lost her. The house no longer smelt of roses, the kitchen didn't look lively and inviting. The house was choking me up. It felt as if I was being sucked inside a tube and it was suffocating.

I knelt there and began to cry,"MA" I yelled and yelled till I felt hoarse. I wanted my mother. I curled into a ball and wept my heart out. I wept till all tears had dried, till I could cry no longer. Yet I yelled, I want my ma. SHe always promised that she would be there for me, always. "MA" I yelled again,maybe she would hear me.