You , Me And Sex (GirlXGirl)

Regrets

Mia's Pov

After 1 week.

My first love , my only love is Nicki but I had to let her go from me. Freedom is an essence in love. I realized I was clutching on her too much. Trust is an issue that we have never talk about. Communication has being the solely key reason for the failure. I can't be without her. She haunts me everywhere but for the sake of both of us. I had to do that. I still regret speaking out those bitter words. It was more painful for me to let out those words. I hope she realized it. 

'Nicki has being away for 3 days now. Aren't you worried?' Kate urged for my attention as she keep repeating the same stuffs making me more nervous. The last time we spoke was when we broke up. We crossed path but it was like stranger with memories. I yearn for her and I know she does too. The way we looked at each other depicts it clearly but I can't make her more unhappy with me and I can't keep proving myself. I was being selfish. The sole reason I was still living and having courage was that I see her safe and secure everyday with my own eyes then my heart get peace. Lately she has being as quiet as me. She doesn't react to anything mostly which do worry the heck out of me. 'I want to check on her. But I don't know how' I let out my true feeling to Kate. 'We will find a way. Don't worry.' She reassured me as I try be positive. 

'What if she hurts herself?' I start freaking out. 'She won't Mia!' Kate assured me as she was trying to get in touch with Quina who was on mission to know about the well being of Nicki. 'Her family has gone out for few days so she is at her place alone. That's all I could found out.' We heard Quina updating us about Nicki. 'She can react wrongly if she is alone and this is all my faults! I should have told her that I love her. I should have told her that I want her as much she wants me.' I said regretfully as I held my head in my head wishing that I could scream and let out all negativity from me. Life get so unfair at times. 

Nicki's Pov

I was rejected by the one I love the most. I couldn't express any emotions. The more I caught the sight of her. It make me happy and relief and soon those feelings are replaced with a dark realization that the girl who bright up my world isn't mine anymore. The truth is that I couldn't keep her happy. The more I get away from her, I yearn for her. The darkness is overtaking everything in my life. I miss her touch , her scent , her warmth.I just missed her.

The knock at the door caught my attention. I let it slip from my attention. I just want to confide myself in a place and just be alone. I don't want anyone. I want Mia. The sight of other people make me miss her more. She haunts me terribly. I feel her despite her absence. 'Nick! Just open the door. Its me Mia.' I keep overthinking. I illustrate a scene of ours. How it would be if Mia would have being here with me. I heard of her angelic voice, then her bitter tone ..I heard her cry which freak me up. I kept staring at the ceiling , I engrossed deeply into my illusion world as I curled up and fell into a deep sleep.

Mia's Pov

'It will freaking not work!' I repeatedly ramble the same things. 'I should have listen to her.' I placed my head over my hand as I felt helpless. 'It will work. Be positive. She will open.' Kate tried to reassured me. I kept pacing around. No reaction. No response. It felt like a life dead situation for me to which its leading to no hope for me. Life has stopped. Death is sinking in painfully and slowly. Why did I have to keep on with my stubbornness when I am aware that I can't be without her. I kept blaming my own while I kept shouting for her. My voice drown into a pitch black darkness where there is a silence that kills slowly. 

I found myself numb , mute as I slide my body against her house door. Kate has gone back but I can't leave without my life. I have being irresponsible too. I felt the guilt eating me up.My eyes revolves around a brightness of her memory. Her smile , her jokes, her touch...I got so carried away that I missed the point that I ought to protect her. As I kept thinking of her..all memories of her keep flooding into my mind.

Flashback

'I want coffee!' I inform her of my choice of drink. 'Tea?' She asked as I nodded my head negatively. 'Now don't tell me you don't like tea?' She asked me in a dramatic shocking tone. 'No. Coffee is more my thing.' I said casually as she stared at me. 'Well that's an issue. ' She started off with a serious tone to which I looked on confusingly at her as she continue. 'Because I love tea and my partner should do so too!' She ended on a serious tone while fixing  her eyes on me as I settled myself on the couch of her room. 

'I don't drink tea and I won't! I stick to my point as she settled next to me. 'You won't?' She asked in a warning tone as she brushed her cheek against my neck. 'No..' I said stubbornly as she continue to get close to me. 'Well then this 'no' will cost you much more.' She whispered as I felt myself sink into the couch with her touch, her warmth and just her. 'Stop, its tickling me.' I said giggling as she playfully tickles me and the rest ends into moans and sound of pleasure. 'So you liked tea?' She asked as she await for her answer while holding me in her arms. 'Well  only if you do this every time then I will love tea!' I said as I lean over her to kiss her. 'No. First say 5 times I love tea and not coffee. Then you can kiss.'  She said adamantly. I looked at her as she continue her fake upset expression. 'That's so childless.' I snapped at her as looked at her unbelievably. 'Then no kiss!' She announced. 'Fine! I gave up. I love tea and not coffee.I love tea and not coffee.I love tea and not coffee.I love tea and not coffee.!' I said repeatedly as I felt stupid but her giggle and content face make it up for me. Even the stupidest thing make sense. 'Ok now kiss me!' She said with a laugh without giving me time to react.

Flashback end

The smile of her face faded in my memory..the whispers of her get lost in the silence...The warmth of her get lost in the chilled air....Have I lost her?