The Funeral Style

Chapter Twenty Four

I would gladly be kidnapped by a creepy person for a year in return for MarsArgo to make just one new song

I am being serious

Chapter Twenty Four

"Look at it all, so divine!" Mr. Parity exclaimed, with his arms risen in excitement, "Such lovely decor, such ferocious physicality."

"They are diamonds." I said bluntly, with a faint sigh. Apparently his great idea about indulging more in the cemetery meant also going along with him to buy illegal jewels from illegal people. 

Just the thing I wanted to do on a Friday evening. 

He held his finger up to silence me, "Not just diamonds, my dear, but symbolism! Where is your patriotic pride?"

"They are for dead people, not America."

"They are American dead people." He corrected, "Beautiful American dead people, and they deserve the utmost of care whilst their souls depart." He beckoned one of the sellers to allow him to buy a whole black box full of tiny diamonds. "By the way, Miss Adler." He turned to me as the seller packed the diamonds away in a black satin bag. "How obsessed on a scale of certainly to undeniably are you with quality?"

"Quality of what?"

"Of not just physical items, but people. Because if it is truly undeniably then I have a request for you."

I stared at him, not knowing what the hell he meant by anything he was saying.

Not that I ever do.

I watched as he paid quite a handful of cash for the box of diamonds, and took the satin bag in his hands. "Follow along as I explain." He said, as he intertwined his arm around mine without even warning me. "You see," He began, as I tried to pull my arm away from his but could not, "I have a job to do as owner of Parity Cemetery. But alas, my age is a damned inconvenience to everything I work for." He gritted his teeth as he spoke that last sentence, "but I need proof of unquestionable maturity, and I think you just may be the answer to my wishes."

My heart sunk, knowing there was something he wanted me to do. Something that if I deny it, he will certainly force me to do anyway. 

"I don't think I want to know what it is you are asking."

The look on his face went from normal, to serious, "That is why I'm giving you a choice." He was now looking at me, with a cold expression, "I have guest coming, and they aren't the usual people we tend to." He sighed, "I am allowing all the women who work for me to take off the day they come, as I want no one around these guests."

I didn't hesitate to ask, "Who are they? What's so great about them?"

"They are the reason of Parity Cemetery. They are a long line of people with a tremendous amount of popularity for show business. They are my ridiculous competitors, as they are a lot like myself." He paused, "My family were also like me, throughout the years, my family, cousins, aunts, uncles, they all have had their own part in the Parity tradition, whether it was at a funeral, or somewhere else. Presentation was our religion."

"That's quite a religion." I said in reply, as I watched Mr. Parity nod his head as a response. He obviously wasn't wearing his costume today. No mask, no creepy torn up clothing, just a regular suit, and messy black hair. "I suppose it makes sense that you want to impress these people." I went on, "But if you expect me to help you, you are mistaken." I couldn't even impress my family with the seventeen years of my existence. If he wanted me to actually sway these people, he'd have better luck doing it with a bag of hammers.

"Indeed not, Miss Adler." He said quickly, "In fact, I believe completely that you will make everything worse."

"Wow, thanks for being subtle."

He scoffed, "Don't take offense to that, it's a good thing you wouldn't faze them, they only love psychos and disheveled whores."

"So what's your plan for me then?"

"Simple." He stated happily, "You are going to pretend to be my darling wife Scarlet Parity, you dress the part, and act like you love being by my side."

I stood there, stunned at his 'brilliant' idea. If he thought I was going to play some whore, he was surely mistaken.

"No way. Absolutely not. I'm not going to play some whore for you." I laughed at the thought, "I knew you were stupid, but not this stupid."

He grinned, "Are you sure about that? In return, I'll reward you and your family with riches and the ultimate splendor. Will ten grand, and your sister's funeral be completely paid off suffice, my dear Scarlet?"

My mouth dropped open at the amount of money he offered. Suddenly I was having future visions of what my family could do with that amount. And with Amanda's funeral bills payed off completely, they wouldn't have to worry about working overtime anymore. 

I really didn't want to do it.

Every part of me was screaming 'no' as I knew exactly how this'll play out. 

"Fine." I mustered, as I cleared my throat, "But I'd also like Sunday as a permanent day off from working at the cemetery."

He stared at me for a long moment, as if contemplating if he should agree to that or not, but, after a faint sigh, and a quick nod of his head, the smile returned, "Done." 

Once again, he intertwined his arm with mine, and we continued walking as he explained what I had to do, what I must wear, how I had to act, and when it all had to be done. Even listening to him speak of everything that I was going to do gave me instant anxiety. I didn't regret agreeing to do it, I was just nervous for the act. 

I watched as he slipped his hand into the black box of diamonds and pulled the biggest one out. He examined the diamond in his white glove-covered hand, and handed it to me. "From this day on, my darling wife, you will be given the riches of a queen. With the money you receive, keep it, and use it to teach yourself how to live the life of the fairest." He lowered his voice to a mutter, as if speaking to himself, "Because I can't tolerate you failing. Not this time."