Mafia Mistake #Wattys2017

Lost Lover

3Months Later
Alessa's P.O.V

Sighing deeply, I reclined back into my styling seat, allowing the girls to begin swarming me, grabbing various combs and other tools to began my hair and makeup. The familiar feeling of makeup powders and brushes caressing my skin, where hair stylists took layers if my hair before setting each stand into flawless curls.

But I didn't feel flawless.
I felt lost.
Empty.
Alone.

When I returned back home, I instantly contacted Ali, who had returned home a week before. We caught up and allowed me to spill ever emotion I had locked up for the last few hours. I fell into what I could only describe as ; deep depression.

I didn't return back to work for a solid month, I mostly spent it at home, sifting through old paperwork and contracts. Cleaning my apartment that had been left to collect dust for almost a whole year. Ever so often pausing over familiar pictures of those hypnotic ocean eyes, the familiar tug at my heart following me around day and night, a never ending cycle.

I still couldn't sleep properly at night, my mind always wandered to , him. What he was doing. Was he thinking about me?

Of us?

Because I couldn't stop thinking about him.
I missed him, I would never deny that. His scent, his smile, his touch. Everything.

I missed all of him. To the point my heart felt incomplete.

Through the months I realised a lot of things about myself . That I had picked up my career at the start only because I wanted something to occupy the mind and fill my empty schedule. My parents were rarely around to talk to, I didn't socialise at clubs or bars much, Ali being my own close friend. But Angelo became not only my schedule, but my life.

It wasn't fun anymore, the hair the makeup, the clothes the cameras. It all felt too much.

I wanted to go back to him.
To the life I made, we made.

But I was still so hesitant. It hurt me what he did, it hurt me even more that my father set up such a thing. Yet a small voice inside my mind told me that Angelo's feelings, in the raw intensity of his eyes, were genuine.

I realised I doubted myself.
I doubted whether I could handle his lifestyle forever, I doubted whether I could be there for him when he needed me. I doubted my safety as well as his own . I feared loosing him to the same gun he effortlessly yields.

I feared us.

Days began passing me by in a blur, I became more introverted as moments passed, becoming lost in my thoughts.

I became a lost lover.

***

My thoughts where broken as the familiar piercing shrill of my ringtone filled the silence of my bedroom. Sitting up on my bed, I slowly reached across to my nightstand to where my phone lay.

Without looking at the flashing screen I picked up the phone.

"Alessa?" My mothers familiar time called down the line. My body stiffened as I hadn't talked to my parents in the past three months since I returned after finding out the truth. But I couldn't deny I found comfort in my mothers voice.