Here I am, still breathing despite these bruises.
I am left alone to think things through again.
Previous events have wounded me bad.
I can feel it still cutting through my skin and enveloping my heart with searing pain.
It seems they already won the battle and now I am left with only ashes of what was beautiful before.
A love consumed by flames conceived from those who don't understand, those who refuse to feel.
I'm standing here, in the middle of erratic heartbeats screaming my condemnation.
What seemed to be a path to serenity is now blurred with tears.
How could they kill us?
How could they have done this out of what they thought was true love?
I can still hear their laughter as we suffer the pain they induced.
I can still feel the crimson wounds from the stabs of prejudice, killing me slowly.
I need you here.
I need to see the entity owning a rhythm of heartbeats as the heartbeats inside me.
I need to feel the warmth I once enfold.
But now we are immobilized.
Deliberately bound by the same hands that killed us.
Only your memories sustain me.
Only your fading light keeps me holding my last breath.
Monday, June 26th, 2006
Author's note: This is the first of three 'ancient' written works of mine back from my Multiply blogging days. The other two isn't as emo as this but they're as bitter, so be warned. LOL
When I found these printed pages hidden in an envelope back at my parents house last September, I laughed at myself for being so young and naive. I mean, I won't tell the stories behind these but my words were hard hitting and it seemed like I magnified my emotions 1000x to call for attention. I have always been KSP and pathetic like that. hehehe.
But typing them again this morning, it opened things inside me that I thought were never gonna surface again. Now that I have a better understanding of the world, I look at this and I what I feel now isn't that same hurt that made me write these things. It's more of a sadness for my past self, for going through most of this alone.
I don't regret it, though, because I can say I'm stronger now because I had to go through them; but my goodness. If right now, I came across a kid who I thought was going through the things I had gone through before, I'd immediately hug him/her and let the kid know "it gets better." Would've saved me a ton of time and tears. Haha.
YOU ARE READING
Free Rein
Poetry"The human will, in its search for freedom of expression, becomes a self-destructive impulse." -Victor Terras Second collection of my poetry.
