Ara unwrapped the cloth covering her palm and flexed her hand carefully. Most of the pain was gone, and new skin had almost completely grown in. She sighed, fairly certain she would have a scar to carry for her folly. Sighing again, she rewrapped the bandage. Like the scar on my heart, she thought hopelessly.
Ara couldn't manage to eat anything. The smell and taste of food repulsed her to the point she nearly vomited the moment it touched her tongue. Zacar and Bomin responded by cooking ever increasingly tasty meals. She felt guilty for turning them away.
After pleading with her in vain, Zacar walked back to the fire, her untouched food still in his hand. Bomin glanced at the food then looked over his shoulder at Ara. Carefully, he set his own food down and picked hers back up. Walking over, he squatted down in front of her. "Eat."
Ara didn't meet his gaze as she shook her head no.
Bomin put the food before her and his eyes met Kodan's. "See if you can do something with her."
Kodan entered her mind. "Are you a coward and a hypocrite?"
Ara immediately bristled and began building an impenetrable wall. Before she could finish it, Kodan stopped her. "You asked me to heal Jarrer once. I told him it did Tallin no honor to dismiss her life because of her death. Yet you have done the same with Tenan!"
Ara dropped her wall in shock.
"Tenan chose to fight to heal the world for those suffering and those yet to suffer. Do not dishonor his choice and therefore him." Kodan rose and walked away.
"I'm not dishonoring him," she said weakly.
Kodan paused and looked back at her. "Wasting away crushes all he fought for as surely as the Torzac's cruelty." With that, he left her.
Ara stared at her food for a long time. She remembered staring at the lanterns glowing in the tree that night so long ago. Tenan told her not to grieve too long for those lost. Then she remembered the night she'd kissed Cohen and Tenan had begged her to end the war. It almost seemed like he knew he would die and was preparing me, she thought. The thought gave her the strength to tentatively reach out and break off a tidbit. At first, it made her sick. But the more she worked at it, the easier it became. Until suddenly, she realized she'd eaten all of it. She even felt better. Wrapping her cloak tightly around her, she slept for the first time since Tenan's death.
Ara's eyes opened the next morning to see Zacar smiling down at her. She smiled back and stretched. "What's for breakfast?"
His eyes twinkled. "Bomin found turtle eggs."
Ara sat up quickly. "Turtle eggs?"
"At the lake over there." He pointed.
Ara stood up. Sure enough, there was a lake shimmering in the distance. She hadn't even noticed it when they made camp the night before.
Bomin appeared then, his shirt bulging with oval orbs. He knelt down and added the last of the eggs to the pile. Ara picked one up in wonder.
"Poor thing spent all night digging a hole for them." Bomin shook his head, sorry for what he'd done. "But I haven't had eggs since we left Bondell." He tried to break them over the pan, but they were more like leather than brittle shells. So instead, he pricked their shells with his dagger and tore them open. They ate the eggs right from the pan, laughing about turtles digging holes.
Zacar noticed Ara looking longingly at the cool water. "You could go for a swim."
She sighed. "Trouble always finds me when I do."
"Just a short one?" He tempted.
Ara looked at Bomin for support. He lifted his finger at her. "I'd rather eat live spiders as swim in anything bigger than a bath tub." He went back to cleaning the pan. "Dwarves swim as well as rocks," he grumbled.
Ara laughed, and both Bomin and Zacar paused at the sound. They hadn't heard her laugh in so long.
"Come on Ara. Bomin will watch out for us."
Seeing the pleading in his eyes and desperately in need of some comfort herself, Ara assented.
With a whoop, Zacar began running for the water. Ara shook her head, knowing he was more excited that she had assented than that he was going swimming. While Bomin cleaned up the camp, Ara stripped to her undergarments and for the first time in her life, she walked calmly into the water. When it reached her waist, she gently sank down. Zacar had brought soap, and they both washed with their clothes still on.
She walked to the shore and set the soap on a rock then waded back out to Zacar. The water itself was warmer than the chilly fall air, and she shivered as gooseflesh covered her skin. Only then did she notice Zacar staring at her bosom. Crossing her arms, she walked to where the water would cover her.
When she turned around, Zacar was right behind her. He grasped her hips and pulled her to him, kissing her passionately.
Ara couldn't help but feel that she was somehow betraying Cohen. Then suddenly, she realized that she always felt this way when Zacar kissed her, but when Cohen kissed her, her mind stopped working all together. She pressed her palms into Zacar's chest. He pulled her tighter.
Employing her elvish strength, Ara shoved him back. Immediately anger and hurt surfaced on Zacar's face. Ara looked away. "I don't want to hurt you Zacar." Without another word, she turned and swam to the shore. At the very edge of the water, Ara paused and looked back at Zacar. Somehow, she'd already given her heart away. All those years ago. Her eyes filled with sadness. "I cannot give you what is no longer mine to give," she said carefully before gathering the rest of her weapons and walking back to Bomin.
Bomin bustled about, oblivious to what had just happened. Idly, he sang a ballad off key, mumbling the words he couldn't remember. Ara smiled at the familiarity she shared with him as she dressed.
"If we ride hard today, we could arrive at the edge of Lourel by tomorrow," he commented.
Ara looked at him in surprise. Had they really been traveling that long? Ara thought back. She'd been so despondent since Tenan's death that she hadn't recognized the passing days. But thinking back, she realized that they left Bondell weeks ago. The packhorse's bags now sagged. Yes, we should be nearly there, she realized.
"Welcome back," Kodan said.
Ara smiled, but it quickly faded when Zacar entered the camp—his clothes dripping. He refusing to look at Ara, and she left him alone. She finally understood that there were some things even she, a healer by nature, couldn't fix.
Ups! Tento obrázek porušuje naše pokyny k obsahu. Před publikováním ho, prosím, buď odstraň, nebo nahraď jiným.
