Behind the luna's smile

Unsteady

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Time is too slow for those who wait,

 too swift for those who fear,

 too long for those who grieve, 

too short for those who rejoice, 

but for those who love, 

time is an eternity...

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Harpers Pov

I sat there.
In the same place, I have done for the past few months.
Thinking...
Hoping...
Pleading that she is still alive...
My hair currently sits as a knot on top of my head and not even the touch of my 'mate' can help heal the overwhelming pain of losing a child.
Nothing can and nothing will.
It will join the other permanent holes, scars, and bruises my battered heart already holds.
It's like a never-ending pain that sits there taunting you like an old primary school bully.
Teasing you about how weak you are, how pathetic you and how you have no control over anything that happens in your miserable life.
It feels like someone has ripped my heart from my chest and is constantly squeezing it or stabbing it with a knife.
I have been sent to hospital 16 times over the past months because no one could get me to eat.
Soon, I will go back again.
Because no one could make me eat so, I would pass out from starvation and they would feed me through the tubes while I was asleep.
It's no healthy I know but I can't eat anything.
My stomach just twists and forced me to puke it back up.
"Harper" A soft knock flows through the silent room.
Heyden appears through the small doorway with a frown.
Bags are hanging from the bottom of his eyes and guilt flows through me like a tidal wave.
I know I did that to him.
No only had I not been able to sleep but he had to because of him worrying about me.
I don't react.
"please" He whispers catching my attention " please just do something" He pleads.
Slowly I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out.
Just a soft hiccup as a fresh set of tears roll down my rosy red cheeks.
The only colour in my face was my cheeks and eyes.
Both red-raw from my constant crying and my voice still recovering from the recurring nightmares that haunt my sleep that send me into a screaming mess.
"I'm sorry...I should have done something! K-kept an eye on you guys and then...then this would have never happened" He growls at himself going to hit himself.
Quickly I grab his arm surprising us both and I dive into his embrace.
I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder sniffling.
"I-its not your fault" I choke out, my hoarse voice like sandpaper.
He just wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his face on my neck.
"I missed you" He whimpered happily.
I nod in response as the aching feeling died down a little but was still painfully noticeable.
"We will find her" He promises reluctantly pulling away.
"don't let go" I cling to him and he holds me tighter.
"Are you okay now" He whispered after a while.
But I shake my head "if you love me don't let go" I cry breathing in his scent.
"I won't" He whispered tears forming in his eyes.
Slowly I wipe them away with my thumb looking into his beautiful dark eyes.
Even though they were surrounded by bags he still looked amazing.
He holds me tighter than ever before and we sit there in each other loving embrace.

I love him...

* * * * * *

I peeled off my clothing and slipped into the warm water.
Instantly my body relaxed and I let out a deep breath.
The water washed over me in soft waves as my mind wandered aimlessly in attempts to relax.
I grab some of Heyden's shampoo and squeeze it onto my hand.
Slowly scrubbing my hair I then lean back into the water.
My back hit the bottom of it and I used my hands to rinse the excess soap from my tattered brown mess of hair.
Doing the same with the conditioner and them moving onto my body I began to feel clean again.
But the guilt stayed.
No matter how hard I scrubbed at my skin the guilt still clung effortlessly and I have in.
My skin was now a dark shade of red and began to sting slightly.
Tears welled in my eyes again but I fought them back.
Hauling myself out of the bath I stumble over the mirror and gaze at the person in front of me.
She was broken.
Unfixable.
Her hair was still a mess but no longer greasy.
Her eyes were dull, lifeless and lost; as if they were searching for something.
Her skin was pale apart from the dark circles under her eyes and her red puffy cheeks.
Shuffling through the small set of draws I manage to pull out a hair brush and tame the nest that sat on my head.
I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and throw on one of Hayden's shirt and a pair of boxers that was placed on the toilet seat before slipping on a pair of his sweat pants.
They were big but comfortable.
Sliding out the door, I notice he is nowhere to be found and I frown.
Pulling the door of the room open I am faced with a long hallway.
Multiple oak doors lined the walls and small windows filled the gaps between them.
Stepping out, I trace my fingers aginst the patterned wallpaper that covered the drywall structure.
My feet padded against the warm fabric of the huge carpet that leads down the hallway.
Silver swirls and patterns danced across the black surface of the embroidery cloth and pictures of wolves howling stretched along the long piece.
There were different unique carvings for each door and a small symbol placed in the center of them all.
After a while, I manage to make it to the huge staircase.
Two large dark oak railings guided my sight down the carpeted steps and a small smile formed on my face.
At the bottom of the steps, the carpet was replaced with a polished marble flooring.
My feet instantly became cold as they touched the ground and I shivered slightly before continuing to the centre of the large entrance.
My throat tightened, adding to the pain and pressure that was already there.
Then it came to me...
The familiar scent...
One i had not smelt in years.

it was...

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Sorry for the lack of updates lately!

It's been very hectic at the moment...

I have a job as well as school now and the only times I can update if the occasional time after school and Sundays so yeah...

BUT! THANK YOU FOR 3.8K!

You are all amazing!

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