The Resistance

Chapter 24

{Kaelynn}

Why must I always be in my feelings?!

I was about to go apologize to Jahmir face to face, but then I seen him with some girl. A pretty, skinny, model type looking girl. I wouldn't say that I was jealous, but I would only be lying to myself.

It's crazy. I often do things that I don't even understand my damn self. It's not right that I always put my own feelings first. I swear I just can't help it though. Whenever I see Jahmir with any female, I just get so jealous. Obviously he can't avoid females forever. It's my own fucking fault that it wasn't me walking beside him.

Mom was getting home just as I made it back to the house. She was just about to turn the knob on the door, but she turned towards me.

"Kaelynn, what's wr-"

"Excuse me miss Marsha. Kaelynn, we really need to talk." Jahmir was walking in our direction.

I looked at both of them before I walked past my mom and went into the house.

"Kaelynn I'm trying to talk you!" My mom urged.

"Well I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone." I had been trying to get in touch with her all evening. She only just texted me about ten minutes ago and told me that she had been with my dad all day.

I was about to reach the steps, but I felt my arm being pulled back. She looked furious. I was just trying to avoid yet another damn argument though.

"I don't know what the fuck has gotten into you! It's like I don't know my own daughter anymore."

"You don't try to know me! You're too busy running after a married man. What, you think he is going to leave his wife for you? If that was the case, he would have divorced her as soon as he found out you were pregnant again. Three kids and he still doesn't want to be with you. I bet you feel stupid."

Her eyes began looking watery as she stared at me. She shook her head at me then jogged up the stairs, sobbing. Instantly, I began feeling bad. I meant what I said. What I said was what I felt. I'm guessing I could have said it in a much better way though. She is pregnant and her feelings are extra delicate at this moment. It just bothers me that we barely have a relationship. She's able to make time for a busy, married business man, but not for her daughter. The one she sees every single day.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Jahmir spoke, reminding me that he was here. He came over to me looking furious.

"Jahmir, you don't understand. You wouldn't know how it feels t-"

"You're right. I damn sure don't. I don't understand why you always have to be so fucking mean to everyone. I wouldn't understand what, Kaelynn? Mama issues? Please don't go there with me."

I simply threw my hands up then I went over to the sofa. He started saying some more things, but I turned the tv on and turned the volume up.

"That's it. If I walk out this door right now, I'm completely done with you. I'm tired of trying and ending up nowhere."

Jahmir's cut off game is strong. I've seen that for my own eyes. He isn't fake like some people. When he says he is done with someone, he really is. I'm not sure if he would really cut off a friendship that's over ten years old. He probably would though. He did easily go a few days without speaking to me.

In my heart I know I don't want that. He has been my only friend this whole time. The only one that I know has my back. If I lose him, I'll just how I am right now: lonely.