Elsie-Rae's got Double D's

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So, I handed in my notice to Aaron, and do you know what he did? The bastard laughed in my face; it wasn't even as if it was a little chuckle either, he did a full-on belly laugh, and Aaron has a pretty big belly - it's all those cakes his sticks down his fat neck.

"You're not leaving," he said, once he'd finished laughing.

Well, who the hell did he think he was? Telling me what I could and couldn't do. What, did he think he was my dad or something? I was determined that I was going to leave and that was that.

"I am," I'd told him. "I'm leaving. I'm going to India."

"You . . . are not going to India," he said, as I blinked back the tears.

I didn't want to cry, it wasn't as if it was the first time that Aaron had been witness to my tears, but I'd cried enough lately, and this mascara that I'd brought from Avon was shit - it wasn't even waterproof.

"Why? Why are you leaving? What are you running away from?"

I can't believe that he actually asked me that question — it was pretty obvious what I was running away from and Aaron being my best friend, well, he should've known why I wanted to leave. "Just because . . ."

" . . . Because of him, Ben? Because you almost had a one-night stand? So what, you got drunk, snogged a bloke, went back to his and did nothing, it's no big deal. And so what if something had happened? Jesus, if I left town every time I snogged someone or had a one-night stand, I'd have left more times that I'd had hot dinners."

I couldn't help but smile at him, it was true, what he'd said, I'd heard all of his stories over the years. I was sixteen when I first met Aaron; I couldn't get into the local college to do my NVQ in hairdressing - they said I'd left it too late to apply, but I think it was because my academic record for the previous year was really bad. But Aaron gave me a chance, he offered me an apprenticeship at his salon and took me under his wing almost immediately. I was quite shy when I first started, but he really brought me out of my shell — he was always organising nights away, and at the beginning of our friendship I'd always agree to share a room with him on these nights away — I soon learnt my lesson there. Usually, I'd end up sitting in the corridor or crashing in someone else's room or on the nights when I was really unlucky I'd have to lay there with the covers over my head and my fingers in my ears.

"Yeah, but . . ."

"But what?"

"What if it happens again? But the next time, I don't pass out and do something stupid?"

"Nothing happens. You put it down as a mistake, a drunken mistake, nothing more, nothing less. People go through life making mistakes; it's all part of growing up and learning. Look, I know you thought that you are Ben were going to be together forever, but sometimes life just doesn't work that way, and that's okay."

In some ways Aaron was right, but that doesn't mean that I agree with him. I didn't want to make mistakes; I didn't want to have a one-night stand and put it down as a learning experience that would help me grow as a person. All I wanted was Ben, even if he didn't want me.

What he definitely wasn't right about though was saying that it was okay if life didn't turn out how you planned it to. How could that ever be okay? Aaron knew that I lived my life by rules and plans. I can't even leave the house without reading my star signs, and if Leroy says it's going to be a bad day then I'll stay indoors; why risk it? I've got Pinterest board after Pinterest board of wedding ideas and baby names, I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do with those now?

Of course, it's not okay for life to turn out differently to how you planned it to, maybe for other people it's okay, but not for me! Ever since I'd got that magazine full of kissing tips, I had everything worked out, at least that's what I'd thought anyway.

"Just think about it, yeah?" Aaron said as he locked up the salon and we said our goodbyes. "I'll see you Tuesday, yeah? Enjoy your weekend off."

But there wasn't anything to think about, my mind was made up.