elsie in the middle

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Oh God, this wasn't how I'd imagined I'd be spending the morning after the worst date ever

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Oh God, this wasn't how I'd imagined I'd be spending the morning after the worst date ever.

"Will get up. I need to go." I said nudging him with my elbow.

"Okay. Okay. I'm up," Will said attempting to sit up. "No, I can't. I can't do it."

Great! Just great!

"Let's have breakfast and then I'll take you."

I didn't want breakfast with Will and his weird parents, but it was more favourable than doing The Walk of Shame in Steph's dress and those awful shoes, I mean heels that high are so impractical. Who even invented heels that high? Who even buys shoes with heels that high?

Come to think of it, where the hell was Steph's dress?

Shit! As soon as I saw it, I knew that she would kill me; it was in a crumpled heap on Will's bedroom floor the blue stain from Laura's alco-pop was still clearly visible, and there was something else, ketchup maybe? Or chilli sauce? I picked it up and did the sniff test; it was definitely chilli sauce, maybe we'd ordered kebabs. Did we order kebabs? I was supposed to be on a diet, Sophie's hen-do in Magaluf was only two weeks away.

"Here you go," Will said, throwing my knickers at me. He was stood there wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants, slung low on his waist, and wow I didn't remember him being so muscular last night, but it wasn't like I remembered much else either.

God damn, it took every ounce of strength I had not to grab hold of the waistband of those sweatpants and pull them off. I swear my ovaries were exploding like those bloody fireworks they have down the meadow every year on the 5th of November. But I managed to restrain myself; his parents were downstairs after all.

"I can't go down there like this," I said as I stood there in just my underwear. By underwear I mean my thong because that stupid dress required me to go minus the over shoulder boulder holder.

"I don't think my dad would mind," he laughed, before handing me another pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. "You know you look kind of sexy in my clothes," he said with a wink.

Sexy? Who was he trying to kid? I looked like a reject dressed in hand me down clothes; my mascara was streaked down my face, and I could feel the vomit rising in my throat, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I threw up in his bin and wiped my mouth on the nearest thing at hand — Steph's fucking dress. I was about as far from being sexy as you could get.

No, I couldn't do this. I couldn't go down there and have breakfast with his parents. It was weird; the whole thing was weird. I felt like I was dying. Imagine the shame — my parents being told that their youngest daughter had succumbed to alcohol poisoning and a dose of embarrassment; a one night stand will do that to you. Especially with his parents downstairs waiting to serve up your breakfast.

"Come and get some fresh air," Will said, throwing open the window and leading me over.

Fresh air was probably a good idea; there was a whiff that lingered in the atmosphere, and I was no Rhianna, I certainly didn't love the smell of it.

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