(me, drunk, ignoring my homework: let's fuckin update wattpad for the first time in like years)
<RHHHH>
i just wanna know what the fuck is wrong with you people, honestly. like i just wanna understand what your collective problem is.
<RHHHH>
because yall are so so so so so fucked up and i'd like to hear your excuse for this behavior
<Barnes>
holy shit i'm so hungover what the fuck
<Barnes>
wait hungover or drunk
<Barnes>
i might still be drunk
<Barnes>
i might be both atthe same time actually?
<Barnes>
what did we do
<Barnes>
why did you let us do this
<Barnes>
idk where i am send help
<RHHHH>
you're passed out at the tower like everyone else, you fuckass fucks got smashed for tony's birthday
<Barnes>
oh shiiiiiiiiit
<RHHHH>
yeah and i think you broke natasha's nose
<RHHHH>
but that's okay because she tried to stab you first in the kitchen
<RHHHH>
and there was an incident at the ihop. which you guys had already been kicked out of so i don't know WHY you thought you could come back
<Barnes>
i was never a part of the ihop shenanigans
<Barnes>
oh gooooooood my body hasn't been in this much pain in a long time
<RHHHH>
well that's because you just recently endured a very trashy electroshock memory treatment from tony with a fucking car battery and then you got drunk and got in four full body smackdowns with fucking superheroes
<RHHHH>
i use the term hero loosely because i don't consider any of those fucks full heroes after all the shit i've seen them do
<Barnes>
wait who did I fight
<RHHHH>
steve, bruce (but only as a joke), natasha and thor (also as a joke)
<Barnes>
im in so much pain i wish for death
<RHHHH>
will you consider killing steve instead
<Barnes>
why
<RHHHH>
he tried to fight like everyone and also he can't even get drunk so he was literally just being ridiculous last night
<Barnes>
in his defense i also thought i couldnt get drunk but i was definitely hammered last night
<RHHHH>
oh yeah no you and tony and clint were doing very heavy drugs
<Barnes>
yeah that sounds about right
YOU ARE READING
Avengers Texts 2
FanfictionThese are the Avengers' private phone records, collected for your enjoyment. {Wattpad has stopped letting me update the original Avengers Texts, because apparently there's a chapter limit now, so I've started a second part. Continuing right where th...
