Summertime (Frerard)

9: Desperate Measures

Pulling the brother card had sufficiently gotten me out of rather tricky situation that'd certainly lead to nothing but a bad outcome, however in the long run it had turned my already pretty tragic life into a game of hide and seek with Mikey Way. I spent my whole day avoiding the flash of blonde hair turning the corner, darting into toilets and classrooms full of people I'd never even met before. Due to the rather shocked reaction I had received from the guy, I largely suspected he was making just as much of an effort to hide from me as I was for him! This all made the situation easier so you couldn’t go wrong really. That was only if you ignored that the whole ordeal had already turned terribly pear-shaped by now, but I liked being naive sometimes, so I did indeed ignore the aforementioned fact.

It was constantly eating away at me though; what had caused such a reaction from the usually resilient towards emotion, younger Way brother. The shocked, almost terrified expression was beginning to drive me crazy as it constantly replayed in my head day in, day out; because no matter how much I avoided the fact, there'd always be something that made him react in such an extravagant manner. He didn't want me to know Gerard existed; he didn't want anyone to know that he was related to the guy with the shocking red hair and maniacal smile. Maybe he was embarrassed? Maybe he was scared - both of the truth, the secret, and of Gerard? Maybe he couldn't care less? I doubted the latter, despite how much I wanted to pin that Mikey Way was an ignorant asshole as the cause, it didn't quite fit, it didn't feel right, and I wasn't quite gullible enough to continue to convince myself that it did. Naive, I could do, gullible wasn't within my spectrum of narcissism.

I was beginning to piece things together; things that I didn't want to fit into a order that scared me so much, things that opened doors filled with stomach lifting darkness, and of course brought thousands of questions to the table. It brought questions that were scared to be asked, questions that were scared to have answers and questions that'd never reach further than the tip of my shy tongue, because I could never ask them, especially not to someone as unpredictable and cruel as Mikey Way.

In fact, if Mikey had reacted any differently to my mentioning of Gerard, we'd be in a completely different situation right now; I could be getting my skull kicked in by now, I could be dead by now, maybe even Gerard could be dead by now- no, I didn't want to think about that, because the fact that he was real didn't fix the problem that I hadn't seen him and his scary gaze in far too long.

Gerard didn't go to school, I swear I saw him at the hospital the other day, Mikey seemed terrified and embarrassed at the mention of his brother's existence, Gerard was creepy, Gerard was unpredictable: all of the aforementioned led to the one conclusion that I daren't realise - the conclusion that there was something wrong with Gerard, something very wrong. I didn't like to think that there was anything seriously wrong with him- okay, his moral values were more than a little corrupted, but other than that he was normal, and more importantly, I seemed to have found myself considering him to be my best friend.

No, I couldn't just assume this all from some stupid lacklustre guess work, I needed proof, I needed evidence, I needed answers, and I needed to befriend Mikey Way. Even if it was going to kill me, because maybe not having the answers would kill me quicker. The uncertainty was a poison, pumping through my veins, stopping my heart every so often and maybe one time it'd stop my heart forever.

Maybe it'd be an easier task now we had established some common ground and I even had the means for blackmail if it came down to that- it most likely wouldn't, because I knew what he didn't want me to know, what he wanted no one to know, his deepest, darkest secret, maybe. So he proceeded with caution, even with a slight fear of me; he was a coward. At least there was the reassurance that The Killers most likely wouldn't bother me for a while, Mikey'd certainly make sure of that. Or at least I hoped he wouldn't grow some huge spurt of confidence and vengeance towards me and being Mikey Way, he'd find the cruellest way to take said vengeance out on me.