Summertime (Frerard)

12: We Say We Have Our Best Friends, Yet We Stab Them In The Back

I felt like a zebra. I felt like a motherfucking zebra; arms striped with scars that held stories I could never explain, and July weather far too warm to wear long sleeves without suspicion. I truly hated my father, and I'm more than certain that the bastard hates me too. If he didn't, this whole situation could be nothing more than entirely fucked up, but from the chains of insults he took pleasure in throwing at me on a daily basis, I was more than content with the fact that he hated my guts.

I know everyone is staring: I'm just a new addition to the zoo, the freak show, the hallways of school and I don't exactly blame them for staring - it's causing me to blush violently, but at least they're occupying themselves, because, really, I'm practically doing a service for the bored and gossip hungry students. I've learnt enough about this hell of school, enough about society itself in fact, just to know how this shit goes and how it almost never goes in my favour, because from the moment I was born, I was a gazelle, and they, they're all the lions.

My father wasn't exactly happy with my late arrival home last night, and when he saw that someone had already started his job (that someone being everyone's favourite bastard of a younger brother Mikey Way) he wasn't exactly pleased. He just laughed, and then, his belt laughed with him. The alcohol laughed too, I think, but I was practically unconscious by then and it was rather hard to tell, not that I really wanted to, in fact, even thinking about the whole situation made my head pound like crazy and left me with the uncontrollable instinct to rid myself of the entirety of the contents of my stomach.

What Mikey had said about Gerard being dangerous couldn't quite leave my head, because despite how much my rationality told me to disregard it, the thoughts just came back; stronger and stronger each time - because, maybe things did add up, but really, I really didn't want them to. I just wanted Mikey to be the asshole and Gerard to be the nice guy, but no, that's not how it is, that's never how it is, because they're people, not stereotypes and their personalities range across bizarrely complex spectrums of hatred, pain, kindness, friendship, depression and love. And that's why people are so unique, so special, so human and yet so dangerous.

Dangerous. Yes, that's the word Mikey used. The word I hate him for using, the word that haunts my every waking moment; it's the word that won't leave me, it's the word I'll carry to my deathbed, and the word that'll be engraved upon my grave.

'Frank, he's dangerous.'

Surely we all are. Surely that'd just imply that he was human? Why I was so quick to counteract every word that left Mikey's mouth I had no idea, maybe it was because he was a major asshole, but then again, so was Gerard. Gerard was just different, I guess. There was always something different about Gerard; it was painfully obvious and terribly enigmatic, but there was no one quite like Gerard, and even though Mikey was biologically the closest, he was leagues away from Gerard.

It was almost like my mind chose to subconsciously forget when Gerard was a major dickwad to me; when we first met and he hated me, I hated him, I despised him, I loathed every inch of his being, but that doesn't seem to matter now, because in the scheme of things, Gerard's an alright guy, but surely that'd qualify Mikey as one too. Thinking of Mikey as Gerard's brother and not the guy that picks on me at school, was something that made my head hurt, my head spin in fact, in fact, it practically made me want to throw my head right off my shoulders and let my brain splat out all over the floor.

I like to think the Way brothers are polar opposites, but really, they're sickeningly similar, even down to those fucking hazel eyes. The hazel eyes are the bane of my being. From Gerard's beautiful and enticing ones, to Mikey's terrifying and fear striking ones.

And speaking of Way brothers, there he is - Mikey, and his little gang; all five of them sat atop the lockers again, because that's obviously so unbelievably cool. Mikey's much more than intelligent than all four of the others put together, but I think that's precisely why he hangs around with them so much. Mikey's that kind of guy who needs the constant extra ego boost. Gerard however, was already far too inflated on the ego front.