Summertime (Frerard)

17: I'll Try To Kiss You If You Let Me

"You okay Frankie?" I peeled my eyelids open to find myself in yet another unknown room; there was appearing to be a recurring theme here. This wasn't like the last time I woke up and it wasn't just the difference in location, the whole ordeal was just different, because this room, this one contained Gerard.

I couldn't quite recall the events which caused me to end up here, and was stabbing in the dark, baffled as to what the hell they could possibly be. Everything was pretty much blank after I woke up on Mikey's sofa.

I could remember why that had occurred - Skully, of course, but this one was tricky, because I didn't imagine that Skully had broken into Mikey's house just to knock me out again, well- oh my god, what if I was dead? What if this was heaven. I just let out a muffled sadistic chuckle; it was ridiculous how Gerard warranted it 'heaven' status. Gerard was just a guy, just Gerard, just my Gerard.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I guess?" I didn't know; I was stuck in the eye of a hurricane of confusion, but it was seemed that I wasn't immediately dying or in mass amounts of pain and agony, so I took a shot in the dark and passed myself off as 'okay'.

"You passed out on our sofa." Gerard had apparently noticed my awfully confused demeanour, which admittedly was a little embarrassing, but at least things were coming back to me now, and it was true, I had passed out on their sofa. Not just Mikey's sofa, Gerard's too. This wasn't just Mikey's house of course, it was Gerard's too.

Today hadn't been the best of days thinking about it; I'd gotten beaten up again, and now I was stuck at the Way's house and my father would only grow angrier the long I stayed here and laid on Gerard's bed, watching where the elder Way brother sat on a beanbag a foot or so away, and of course I was both trying to remember and forget he was twenty two.

"You don't look twenty two." I found myself noting aloud and blushing furiously afterwards. Thankfully, he just chuckled a little at that comment. I seriously needed to work on my brain to mouth filter or I was going to end up in some serious shit someday.

"Apparently I can't be twenty two either." I raised my eyebrows at that but Gerard just shook his head and began counting on his fingers, "I can't drive, I can't drink, I don't have sex, I don't have my own place, I don't have a job, I'm not at college or anything. All I do is smoke." I appreciated his smoking more than anything but I didn't make a comment on that. "I'm good for nothing except fucking smoking."

"If it makes you feel better I'm in pretty much the same boat, except I don't smoke, which means I'm actually good for nothing." I tried to make him feel better a little, but I wasn't sure as to how effective it actually was.

I wanted to tell him how beautifully he smoked, how he made the slow suicide an art form and just how much I appreciated wearing my lungs out on his second-hand smoke. I didn't say any of that though; I was scared of what he'd say to that, because those words made it sound like I was the one smoking something.

"You're seventeen." He reminded me of the truth, because five years was a lot especially at this age. I also hated how our eyes instantly made me think of the age gap, and not Gerard's next birthday or something that a normal person would think of. I'm just obsessed with him and fucking messed up.

 "That's all normal for you. I just feel like I'm stuck being a teenager forever." He let out a deep sigh and glanced around the room, his eyes looking for something to fixate upon that wasn't me.

I didn't blame him; I'm seventeen - he shouldn't be looking at me, and I shouldn't want him to be. But I do, I really do and his eyes meet mine again, he does too.

"You don't have to go to school though." I pointed out, a little jealous of him. Wondering how Gerard had actually made it out of school alive? I was pretty sure I'd give up within senior year. It was nearly summer too, so I wouldn't actually be a junior for much longer. Not that it'd help my survival in anyway despite the motivation that I would be very much nearly done with school.