Summertime (Frerard)

53: Put The Pieces Back Together Just To Smash Them Down

"Fuck, Gerard, fuck, my god, fuck...."

Needless to say, despite the fuck ups, and the absolutely headache this 'relationship' had caused me, I knew for sure that he was a good enough fuck to virtually wish that all away, even if it was just momentarily, but when you were walking on ice as thin as this, everything single fucking moment seemed to matter, and I couldn't help but wonder how we'd gotten here sometimes, but I knew that, we could never settle for anything else, because maybe I was just a little crazy too.

Gerard stopped momentarily, eyes growing wide as he grinned up at me, leaving me moaning at his name and resulting to grabbing his hair and pushing his pretty little mouth back onto me, and oh god, why he'd ever stopped, I could never understand, because this was perfect, and perhaps even just perfect enough to hide everything else behind the curtain for just a while.

"God, this is so fucking good, I love you, fuck I need this, fuck, Gee, please, fucking-"

He shut me up for sure, pulling his tongue down me and at an over exaggeratedly slow pace too, and dear god he was such a fucking tease and I could kill him for it, but really I’d never even consider it once in a million years, because despite how little I wanted to admit it, it was true, and Gerard Way was really all I had left, and perhaps that was why this blowjob seemed like the most important thing that I'd even experienced in my whole entire life.

Or perhaps that was just generally quite sad.

But it was most definitely a very good blowjob.

Gerard squeezed onto my hips, his fingernails digging in tight enough to ensure that he left marks that I'd never be able to forget, and he grinned around me, as he felt my hips buckle a little into his grip, knowing my body well enough to know just how close I was, and I knew his asshole of a personality well enough to know just how much he would tease me from now.

And for one moment it all just stopped as the redhead pulled his mouth away, simply grinning up at me and giggling a little at how hard I was, only to sit down crossed legged on the bed, and leave me there, wide eyed and oh so goddamn fucking needy.

I wasn't going to take this for an answer, though, I wasn't going to be ignored, and especially not by Gerard Way, and that left him very little morning before I had shoved myself down that pretty little throat of his, and dear god, it felt like heaven and hell intertwined to feel him so turned on and startled: gasping and heaving as he began to suck the tip, my hands forced his back onto my lips, letting him to continue to do what he was best at, and perhaps even let me come in the process, because really, that would be awfully nice of such an asshole like him.

And then, before I could even recognise what was happening, everything was happening: I was coming down his fucking throat and he was pulling my hand down to his dick in order to finish himself off, and dear god, there was nothing better than the two of us coming together and the elevated feeling that would follow as we lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling for half an hour, before someone (usually me) got forced into getting up and getting dressed in order to bring up some food and pick out a CD to kill off the empty silence his room filled with.

But just this once, it wasn't like that, and fuck, it just felt weird, and that was how I came to know almost instantly that something absolutely terrible was occurring, and the look in Gerard's eyes sealed the deal.

"What's wrong?" And he was just denying it moments after the words had escaped my lips, and fuck, this was ridiculous, and maybe he was right last night in saying that we were ridiculous: this once it seemed that a quick fuck hadn't allowed everything to fade away, not at all.

"Me." He was nonchalant enough to break my heart, and really I was lost for words, and resulted to staring wide eyed at my red haired boyfriend and the way he avoided my gaze like the plague, or perhaps just for fear of me reaction. But in the silence, with eventuality, he continued. "I'm wrong, because I'm fucking us all up, and nothing even helps anymore, and you just won't listen to me, no matter how many times I tell you that you're too good for me, and I really kind of hate that, Frank."