Oblivion (A Stiles Stilinski/Teen Wolf Fanfiction) [3]

Chapter 18 - Flares

**WARNING** This chapter contains talk about suicide. If that is a potential trigger for you in anyway please just send me a message and we can work something out.

 There was a dark feeling in the pit of my stomach as I sat on my bed with Stiles eating the food he'd taken from the vending machine. The sound of Callie blow drying her hair was loud through the thin wall of the bathroom. It was distracting me more than it should have been.

 I haven't said anything since Stiles came into my room. He was talking occasionally, but stopped once he realized all he was going to get in response was a nod and distant eyes. There were just too many thoughts running through my head, thoughts that shouldn't be there. 

 My eyes drifted to the window. The curtain was slightly parted, giving me a small view outside. Suddenly, a hand pressed against the other side of the glass. I sat up a little, trying to get a better look. A figure stepped into my line of sight, and it took a moment to register before I realized it was my father. 

 He was smiling at me, and it sent a kind of warmth around my heart. Then, the corners of his lips turned down and his eyes went blank. A slit was cut into his throat slowly, without the help of any kind of weapon. Blood dripped down his neck and out of the corner of his mouth. 

 "Emma?" 

 My head snapped back in the direction of Stiles' voice. "Huh?" I mumbled. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

 "You want anything to drink?" He asked, slowly, as if he'd already asked me once before. 

 "No, no I'm fine," I said. I cleared my throat and turned away, staring at the wall again.

 I hadn't really touched any of the food. I wasn't hungry, even though I hadn't eaten anything since before we left Beacon Hills. My eating habits are getting almost as bad as my sleeping ones. I just always feel like I'm going to throw up.

 I stood up and walked over to the window, pushing back the curtain. The lights from the glowing neon sign reflected off the glass as I pressed my palm to it. It was warmer than I'd expected. There was no sign of anyone outside. It was all in my head.

 "Emma, are you feeling okay?" Stiles asked. I heard him stand up and move behind me at the window.

 "What?" I asked, turning around to face him. 

 He shifted on his feet. "Uh, never mind," he said.

 I nodded and turned back to look out the window. I searched around the parking lot and down the walkway, but it was all empty. It should be, but for some reason didn't want it to be. I didn't want to believe that I'm going crazy.

 "Hey, I'm - uh, gonna go check on Scott, okay?" Stiles said. I nodded slowly, not saying a word. "Okay,"

 With that, he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Callie came out of the bathroom, fluffing her freshly dried hair. I hadn't even realized she'd turned off the hair dryer. I should have noticed. It was loud enough.

 Everything around me was beginning to feel like it was fading. I was fading. I pressed my hand to the glass again, lowering it slowly back down to my side when Callie spoke. "You okay? You seem kind of...off,"

 I turned around to face her, and without a word I walked into the bathroom.

 "Hey, careful! My curling iron is on," she warned as I shut the door.

 I locked it, then leaned over the sink, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Looking at myself made me angry. All I see is a killer. A cold-blooded, no good killer. That's never going to change, either. I will always be a killer, a thief of an innocent life. My family was right; it should've been me. I don't deserve to live after what I've done.