Part 10

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Warning: this might trigger those with depression and anxiety. I’m sorry
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Part 10

TAEHYUNG

“Moron! I’m not gay if that’s what you’re asking. I just love this cute baby like a little sister.” They both laughed and Jeone shook her head at me with a teasing smile.

Gemini left after remembering she’s watching her favorite film. The silence suddenly felt so heavy. I almost dropped the tray of egg I was holding when Jeone spoke.

“Last night…” I looked at her but she’s not looking at me so I continued on my task. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” When I finally transferred all the eggs, I closed the refrigerator and there she is beside me.

“I made you see me like that.” She leaned on the sink counter and looked away. I stood in front of her and held her hand.

“I kind of understand how you feel, Jeone. I also know how it feels to be so alone despite the people around you,” it feels like I’ve been punched in the stomach when our eyes met. She’s so sad. I know that look, “to feel so disconnected and numb. And there are times you feel everything at once”

“I am the reason they died. It’s entirely my fault.”

“How do you say so?”

“I couldn’t save them. I should’ve tried harder. I shouldn’t have left the house without looking for them. I should’ve tried harder.” She buried her face on my chest again and I held her tight.

“’I should’ve been the one in there. I should’ve been the one who died’; I felt like that for a long time and I sometimes still do.” She looked up at me and I held her face with both my hands and made sure she knows this, “but it’s not our fault. The only thing we can do for them is to keep on living so their sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain.” I kissed her forehead and felt a tear roll down my face, “So, please, keep on living, Jeone.”

She just buried her face on my chest again and hugged me tight.

We stayed like that for some minutes before she shoved me a little. “Thank you for the kiss last night and everything else,” with that she kissed my cheeks and left me stunned.

I feel my heart thumping hard against my chest. And for the first time in 5 years, I feel alive.

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Sorry for a short update. It was so heavy typing this part. For those with depression, I’m sorry if this would trigger you. Please, remember, you are not alone. You are not worthless! There are people who thinks that the world is better with you in it.

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