Twenty Three

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I woke up feeling so heavy. Parang may nakapatong na malaking bato sa ulo ko at parang desyerto ang lalamunan ko. I opened my eyes and saw Sandy's worried eyes. Sinubukan kong bumangon pero kumirot lang ang ulo ko kaya inabutan niya ako ng tubig at aspirin.

"Are you alright?" Tumango lang ako sa kanya. I don't want to worry her too much.

"Uhm, nanggaling si Iago dito kanina. He..he said we'll go whenever everything's ready."

No choice naman eh. Kung magkapatid si Red at Iago, ibig sabigin may-ari din si Iago nito. At siya pa rin ang gumastos ng lahat after all. Haaaay. Lies. Tumango lang ulit ako. Parang wala akong lakas gawin ang kahit ano.

"Inayos ko na rin pala lahat ng gamit mo. Dinala ko na dito sa kwarto namin."

"Thanks Sands." I tried to smile. Thank God for my bestfriend

I stood up and took a bath. Baka sakaling maibsan ang sakit ng ulo ko. Nagsusuklay na ako ng buhok ng may kumatok sa pinto.

"I'll get it." sabi ni Sandy.

Pagbukas niya ng pinto, nakita ko si Iago, Red and Kara. I didn't know what to think. So I didn't. Tumingin sa akin si Sandy with a worried expression, I just smiled and nod at her.

"Okay, I'll leave you here to talk." Sabi niya kay Iago "But please, try not to make her feel any worse." yun lang at lumabas na siya. Pumasok naman yung tatlo. Sinara ni Iago ang pinto at lumapit sa akin si Kara.

"I know I don't have any right to talk to you now Happy, but hear us out please." I just nod. Pagod na ako makipagtalo. Sabihin na nila kailangan nilang sabihin at pabayaan akong manahimik.

"First, We're very sorry it had to come to this point; na nasaktan ka. This was never intended. We only agreed to help Iago because we wanted him to be happy too." yeah, and I had to be the bait They should've given him a toy instead. My heart isn't a play thing.

"Just please tell me how did this happen. How did I end up to be the subject of this scheme? Why all the lies?" I asked with my eyes at Iago.

"Kuya had to lie because he didn't want to confuse you with things. He thought it would be too complicated for the both of you. He thought that if you knew the truth from the start, you would try not to fall for him" this time si Red na ang nagsalita.

"Red and Iago didn't knew they're brothers until Red's mother got sick and I didn't knew it until I was already in love with Red. It's obvious that they don't have the same mom." huminga muna siya ng malalim bago nagpatuloy

"I know it's also my fault. Iago thought our relationship was perfectly fine but it's not. I knew he was in love with someone else from the start and I'm just so in love with him I didn't mind. But when Red came into my life, I knew the difference. Red came back here to avoid me and to stop hurting his brother but I can't just let him go so I broke up with Iago and followed Red." She looked at Red as if asking permission to go on.

"Akala namin ni Red okay na lahat, then one day Iago came to us and said he needed our help. Yun na nga, he told us about you and asked us to play a part. Red and I agreed because we wanted him to be happy too, hindi nga lang namin ineexpect na masasaktan ka ng sobra. We're very sorry Happy. We just wanted you to know the story and please try to find it in your heart to forgive Iago, kahit si Iago na lang. Mahal na mahal ka niya." kinuha niya ang kamay ko at pinisil tapos tumayo na at naglakad palabas, pero bago sila lumabas may sinabi pa si Red.

"We're sorry for all the lies Sab. Kuya thought that if you knew his brother was your ex and that you're engaged to be married, magiging mahirap na para sayo ang mahalin siya"

Engaged to me married? Fvck. Where did that came from? >:( ngayon sobra na talaga. Akala ko tatlo lang sila, kasama pa ata parents ko :'( No wonder my mom didn't ask too much questions. And it explains the sudden appearance on my debut.

This is too much. All they've said is just too much for me to take in right now. All the revelations. Okay, sige. Nagexplain si Kara. Sabihin na nating acceptable, but it's just too late. I'm just too hurt to accept all their reasons now. Tapos engaged to me married pa? :'( It's just..I just feel so stupid now.

Wala silang karapatang paglaruan ang nararamdaman ko. Those reasons are not enough to play with my feelings. Kahit na sabihing magiging komplikado, I still deserved the truth! Was it really too hard for Iago to tell me he loves me? Was lying to me and planning all these things easier than just telling me the truth? Hindi naman ako bobo para hindi maintindihan yung mga bagay na yun. If he just told me the truth, he could've spared me from a lot of heartaches.

Lumapit sa akin si Iago at kinuha ang kamay ko.

He just stared at me for a while and when I looked into his eyes, I just felt everything again. Felt how much I love this man along with all the hurt I'm feeling now. I'm just torn between hating him for what he did and loving him at the same time. Napahikbi na lang ako at sinubukang bawiin ang mga kamay ko, pero hindi niya binitawan.

"Oh my god, please don't cry Happy," he said and trapped me in his arms. Lalo lang napalakas ang iyak ko.

He held my hand and tried to slap his face with it pero wala nang pwersa ang mga kamay ko "Please Happy, just go on and slap me. Hit me hard. Just do anything you can to ease the pain but please don't cry, it's breaking my heart to see you so hurt and to know it's because of me. I'm so sorry." pumiyok siya, tumingala ako at nakitang namumula na ang mga mata niya. And then seeing him that way just made me cried harder. Niyakap niya lang ulit ako habang nakatakip ang mga kamay ko sa muka. I know he's already in tears too because his shoulders were shaking.

"I'm so sorry Happy. Please give me another chance. Please let me make it up to you." He said, with a pleading and very soft voice.

Tumigil ako sa pagiyak, I looked at him and saw how badly he wanted that chance. Pero hindi ko kaya.."I can't." I said and pulled away.

"I'm sorry Iago. I just can't. I love you..but this is just too much. Let's give it time. Give me time to take this all in." I said and pulled away.

He's hurt. Alam kong nasaktan siya sa sinabi ko. I saw the pain in his eyes but I have to do this for myself, and for him. Masyado pang masakit ang sugat para subukang tumakbo ulit.

I'm too overwhelmed with my love for this man that I lose myself in the process. Nawawalan ako ng kontrol sa damdamin ko dahil sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya and I don't know if I'm ready to be so vulnerabe again. I have to take a break and fix myself. Alam kong napatawad ko na siya pero hindi pa kayang kalimutan. 

I kissed him so soft and said "I'm sorry Iago. Just not now, not never."

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