Rogue Love

Chapter 21

"Come on people you can do better than this!" I growl "I thought I was training warriors not pups!"

It's been a week since the attack during Blazes and I mating ceremony so the training has become intense. I know my personal project of a mainly female squad is by far one of the best squads we have. The whole group has developed its own fighting style that plays to everyone's strengths and I must say it's pretty deadly, but it's still not good enough for me.

"With the greatest respect ash, you're being a bitch" Zoe grumbles.

"With the greatest respect Zoe I want you all to live if we get attacked so do it again and this time do it properly" I snap

I feel guilty instantly after snapping at her but they don't understand. If anything happens to them it will be my fault and I don't think I can live with that.

Calm down ash, this isn't your fault. Plus Lucian wants to see the both of us in his office.

"Right that's enough for today everyone but remember to practice in your own time as well" I shout before they all disappear.

I make my way past the other groups of training wolves watching them and noting down their improvements as well as their down falls. They have gotten better but I want them all to be perfect. I don't want to lose a single wolf if it comes down to a battle.

As I make my way towards the office I notice how the other females who don't train all move away from me. None of them wish to look me straight in the eye. Because of my reputation as a warrior wolf none of the females, apart from the girls I train want to be near me but I'm used to that now.

As I step into the office two pairs of serious eyes lock onto my form. I feel like a deer being watched by a predator. This can't be good.

"Ash we have a letter from Mortem" Blazes voice is grave. A tone that I'm not used too.

"Where is it" I snap.

Slowly Lucian stands and hands me a price of paper. The stark white of the paper is a complete contrast to the blood red ink writing in the page. Once I take the letter in my hands I realise it isn't ink but actual blood.

Looking at the scrawl I had become so accustomed too sent a shiver down my spine. The very presents of his words giving light to the many suppressed memories I have from when I had seen him craft such scrawl.

Taking a deep breathe I begin to read.

Pups,

I know you have what is mine. Hand her over and I will leave you alone if not prepare to suffer the consequences.

Oh and dear little Astra, I know you will be reading this, so don't worry, Daddy's coming and you won't ever get away again.

The end of the letter causes a creeping feeling of despair to settle in my limbs. The world around me begins to spin as panic settles in and the ability to breathe eludes me. He's coming for me. I can't let him find me. Not again. I can't cope with it again!

The panic has begun to take over as Blaze grips both sides of my face and looks deep into my eyes.

"Ash look at me, you need to snap out of it, we need the warrior you and we need her now"

His harsh words snap me back to reality. He's right. If I want to keep people safe then I need to be the cold and calculating person I forged myself into. Not this hidden person only exposed to a select few.

"Thank you Alpha, trading has increased and the wolves are showing improvement we will be ready if needs be. May I suggest we send scouts out to see if we can pick up any scents, to give an idea on how close they are to us"

"Good idea Astra, I will send them out now, as for you two go home. I need you at your best"

I nod at the Alpha before turning around and leaving the room.

~

As the door closes behind me to the beta floor I feel the weight of everything fall on top of me. I feel suffocated by the responsibility I have. This is all my fault. If I had left the pack like I wanted to none of these people would be in danger.

I collapse on the floor. The enormity of what we are all facing too much to deal with.

I made vaguely aware of Blazes presence by the sparks trailing up my arms. Turning around I come face to face with my mate. A look of worry blanketing his face.

"This is my fault isn't it?" I say lowly.

"Never ash. Don't blame yourself for this. None of it is your fault. You didn't ask for this and you don't deserve it. You deserve to be loved and cherished. You are the most caring, beautiful and strong she wolf that I have ever met and it is an honour to be your mate"

I climb into Blazes lap and rest my head in the crook of his neck. We sit like this for what feels like hours until the feeling if someone making there way in between us brings us back to reality.

"Little man what are you doing?" Blazes says trying to hide his obvious amusement.

"Family hug!" Rick cries.

I can't help but laugh at his cheeky grin staring up at both of us.

"What about a family hug and movie on the sofa?" I ask.

"Great idea! I'll pick the film!" Rick cries diving onto the sofa.

Blaze if the first on the sofa before I cuddle up next to him and Rick sits on both of us.

"Your quite hot Rick" I say slightly concerned.

"It's because I've been running" he states matter of factly.

"Ok" I shrug accepting his response.

I allow my body to relax as I settle down with my dysfunctional yet perfect family.