"What will it take?" I grabbed both his hands in mine and leaned against him. He has to be on stage in three minutes- I know but I don't care.
"Don't," he pushed me away again but not without giving me one last longing look.
...
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I couldn't sleep.
Not because I was anxious about the whole Colson situation. I just couldn't sleep.
I stayed up, staring at the hotel ceiling, not even thinking for the first time in forever. My mind was blank.
It was nice of everyone to do what they did for me, I would even say it was one of the best nights ever but then he ruined it.
He ruined it like he ruins everything. All the happy memories I have have been plagued in some way by him and his antics. I still remember the anniversary dinner we were supposed to go on but I ended up sitting all alone at a table for two- receiving pictures of Colson smoking up a joint on some bridge.
It wasn't perfect.
He wasn't perfect.
So why was I still to this day mourning his loss? Mourning the divorce? When all he did was mess up a hundred million times.
Maybe my mind isn't blank after all. I'm still able to think and rethink and overthink.
"Stop thinking," I whispered to myself and tossed and turned one last time before closing my eyes with the resolve to not open them until tomorrow morning.
I opened them within the next minute, sat up in bed and threw the pillows down in frustration.
Screw this.
I reached for my phone and opened it to text Jace. He'd get my mind off this, and he understood how Colson worked better than anyone else.
Camilla: Come get me.
Jace: What's wrong?
Camilla: Nothing.
Camilla: That was a joke.
Jace: I don't believe you
Camilla: I'm honestly fine. Just super tired.
Jace: I saw the headlines. He's back to his old ways isn't he?
Camilla: He never changed.
Jace: True
Camilla: So what's up?
Jace: I can talk to my lawyer, there might be a loophole in that contract you signed.
Camilla: There isn't.
Camilla: How's your job going? Tell me about Sherry from marketing ;)
Jace: Remember that birthday party we threw you and he ended up drunk off his ass and then called the paparazzi in. That was so horrible.
