Chapter 10 - To Tell You The Truth

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It’s been a few days since Simon called. I’ve done a good job of spending as much time as I can with Louis without making the other boys suspicious.

But I still can’t get the thought out of my head that we’re not normal best friends.

I’ve been laying awake and watching Louis sleep in my arms, as we’ve fallen into a sort of routine. Each night, he waits until I’m all tucked in before coming and asking if he can sleep with me. Each night, I invite him to stay and we fall asleep cuddled in each other’s arms.

But last night I couldn’t sleep, and not because I was too busy watching Louis. My brain hurt from all the thinking and hiding I had been doing, and there was no way I would be able to sleep without having nightmares.

I’d decided that maybe what I needed was to tell somebody what was really going on. Maybe it would take some of the stress off my brain and allow me to relax for the rest of the time I had with my Boobear.

Today, when Louis asked if I wanted to go swimming, I told him I was tired and was going to stay inside. He didn’t question me, just went out and dove in. The only other person who stayed in was Liam. I figured since he was like our dad and all that he would be a good person to talk to about my messed up emotions.

“Liam? Can I talk to you?” I asked nervously.

“Sure, Haz, just give me a second.” He finished folding his swimsuit and neatly placed it in his bag. “What’s up?”

I bit my lip. “I don’t really know, to tell you the truth…”

“Well what’s wrong, then?” He asked, his eyebrows creasing slightly with concern.

“I don’t even know where to start,” I told him honestly, “It feels like everything is wrong right now.”

His eyes filled with pity and he pulled me down next to him on the couch. “Is this about the situation with you and Louis?”

I nodded. “Kind of.”

“Why don’t you start from the beginning, wherever that is?” Liam suggested.

Taking a deep breath, I told him. I explained everything from how comfortable I’d always been around Louis, to how our friendship worked, to all the emotions I’d pent up inside since that first meeting with management. I told him about the strange pangs in my chest, the loneliness, the tears, and the cuddling. He just sat patiently, occasionally nodding his head or murmuring to show he was paying attention.

I ended with the phone call and strange feeling I’d had last night that we weren’t normal best friends, letting out a relieved sigh. It felt good to finally tell someone and not carry the burden of my thoughts alone.

Liam had his knuckles to his temples, rubbing lightly and muttering. He seemed to be deep in thought, so I waited for him to look back up at me.

“So you’re scared of losing Louis and you think you aren’t normal best friends?” he clarifies.

“Exactly,” I confirm.

“To me it kind of sounds like Simon was suggesting you have feelings for each other, Harry… do you?”

My mouth dropped open. “You think I want Louis for more than a friend? You’re crazy!”

“Based on what you just said, it sounds like you do, Haz. You get jealous when he’s close to someone else, want him with you forever, and you can’t act but everyone thinks you’re in love with each other. Think about it.” No. I was not gay and Louis was my best friend. I thought Liam was on my side!

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