Chapter 29 - Nothing More Than To Be His

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Simon was staring across the table at me. Just a few short months ago we’d been in this same position: us boys seated across from him and management. But so much had changed since then.

I was sure now. I was undeniably and irrevocably in love, and I was lucky to be loved in return. I had the support of my friends. I couldn’t change who I was or who I wanted to be with, and I wasn’t going to try.

“It sounds like you boys have had a, might I say eventful trip to Florida,” Simon spoke up at last.

“Definitely,” Liam sighed.

“So Harry and Louis, you are telling me that dating as a publicity stunt helped you realize you actually do have deeper feelings for each other and all this madness was you realizing this?” He raised an eyebrow at us,

Louis answered, “That’s mostly what we were getting at. It’s been rough, but we made it out okay. We’re all still here and we know where we stand now. At least I hope we do.”

Simon looked slightly confused. “And what do you mean by that?”

“I think Harry should do the explaining this time,” he redirected the question to me.

I looked around, inspecting the faces of the people around me. Management didn’t seem as surprised at our words as I had expected, and Zayn seemed to be glad he finally understood more of what was really happening between us. Liam and Niall looked relieved and amused. When Liam saw me glancing over him, his eyes turned questioning, as if asking if I’d figured it out yet. I nodded my head a tad and his eyes lit up with pride.

Lastly… Louis. He sat beside me, his hand loosening its grip on my own ever so slightly. He was already watching me, waiting for my next words. He knew it all depended on me. He was still hoping; he still trusted me with all his heart and soul.  I couldn’t wait any longer.

“Even after everything you now know happened, I wasn’t sure. It was a lot in what felt like so little time.” I paused for another breath.

“I love Louis William Tomlinson with my whole heart and I would like nothing more than to be his real boyfriend. No more of this pretending, no more of this being just for show. I want him, and I won’t stop until I get him.” Simon’s eyes glittered and I saw a hint of a smile appear on his lips.

As I turned to Louis, I saw his grin getting wider by the second. “Louis, I know I made mistakes. I know I’m not perfect, and I know you deserve way more than me. I know our every move will be watched and I know we’ve only just realized what we mean to each other. But I can’t let you go. I love you Boo, and I won’t be forgetting it.” A happy tear ran down his cheek, and I felt my own eyes filling up.

“So, Boobear… what do you say? Can we give it a go?”

In answer, he pressed his lips to mine.

The kiss was different from any we had shared before. It was filled with so much love and passion and emotion and trust. He was showing me how much he appreciated my letting him have me at last, and I was showing him how sorry I was for taking so long to love him in the first place. It was fiery and intense, and our hands were gripping our bodies together tightly.

Slowly the flames died down, as did the roughness of our kisses. We clung to each other tightly, and we took turns pecking the other’s lips gently and smoothly. This moment was perfect: the two of us united, sure of the other’s love, ready to face whatever came next.

The sound of a throat clearing shook me from my love-filled trance. I could see Lou in the corner of my eye, shaking his head as if clearing away a fog of his own. Looking up, I noticed Liam and Niall looking smug, Zayn looking shocked, and Simon about to speak.

“So it would appear that our decision to have the two of you date was a worthwhile idea after all,” he noted.

“I think we would’ve figured it out eventually, but it would’ve taken quite some time,” Louis said, “Though I’m not sure. Maybe we owe it to you and the rest of management that we found love before it was too late.”

They glanced amongst each other anxiously, as if they were hiding something. The guy nearest to Simon leaned over to whisper something to him, and Simon quickly whispered something back before glancing back at me.

“It’s about time we told you something, Harry. Both you and Louis.” What else could he have to tell us that hadn’t been said? Does it ever end?

“We kind of suspected you had feelings for each other. Just the way you boys acted with each other, it’s so different from how you ever were with anyone else, even the others or your family. You didn’t notice, but everyone around you did. All your fans, the loyal Larry-shipping mass of them. Your families, who contacted me to ask if you were dating and hiding it from the public or if you actually were as straight as you claimed. And definitely Liam and Niall, who apparently helped you, realized how you felt. We all knew, but you two were just taking forever to come around.”

Thinking back, I realized he was right. Everyone around us had always looked at us differently, and there were definitely a good number of fans that had believed we were together right from the start. Because we had always felt it, but we’d never allowed ourselves to think of it as what it really was. Our love had gone hidden for quite a long time, just under our noses.

“So we created the idea of ‘forcing’ you to come out as a couple. It would show you that you didn’t have to worry about acceptance from anyone, because the world already approves of you. It would make you think about your relationship with each other. We thought it could be the push you needed all along, a push in the right direction.” The boys and I chuckled at the pun.

Something still wasn’t adding up for me. “But when you called me that first week, you never said anything to Louis. Why not? Why did you feel the need to push me and not him?”

“You’ve always been the tougher thinker, Harry. I knew you would take more convincing and more time. Louis tends to rush into things and goes with what he’s feeling, so I was less worried about him.” I nodded, knowing this was true of us. “And… we found out about his journal.”

“Wait, what?” Louis whipped around, glaring. “Harry, I was okay with him reading it; it’s not like we never share anything personal with each other. But you guys read my journal? That’s private!”

“We wanted to make sure we weren’t making a mistake by doing this, Louis. I’m sorry it had to be by doing something that invaded your privacy, but it’s not exactly like we could’ve just asked you.”

“True,” Lou conceded.

“Before we let you boys get home, we’ve just got one more thing to say.” The five of us nodded at the head of management.

Simon spoke up. “Remember that when we ask you to do something, there’s a reason we’re asking and it’s for your own good. Everything we do is for you five. There’s always a reason for our actions.”

He was right. Now that the hard part was over, I could see that he really had been just trying to help us. He and management were trying to get Lou and I to see what our hearts wanted, and though it wasn’t really the traditional way of getting people to notice each other, it worked. We definitely had him to thank for the timing of our relationship and the acceptance from the world.

“Thank you, Simon,” Louis seemed to be thinking the same.

“Don’t mention it, lad, its just another part of my job.” He winked at us before making a shooing motion with his hand and we were ushered out the door.

Liam, Niall and Zayn went off as soon as we got home, and I could hear a faint buzzing as if they were talking to someone on the phone. I wasn’t complaining at their absence; it meant Boo and I got some time for just the two of us.

We cuddled up on the couch, the way we used to if we were going to watch a movie. But this time we just needed to feel the closeness of each other: skin on skin, heartbeat against heartbeat. We needed to know that the other was there and wasn’t going anywhere. We needed the love we now knew existed.

Every so often, one of us would lean to the other’s ear and whisper words of love or press a gentle kiss between our lips. It was enough just to know that he was mine now, and that he really loved me the way I loved him.

Larry Stylinson: confirmed at last.

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