Niall's Pov
We were halfway through week six of the show, and luckily we had survived. It was trying, no doubt, but we worked hard for it. We were desperate to show we belonged here, and that we had the talent to win. Of course, it didn’t help the fact that my mind was constantly occupied by the thought of Ellis. No matter how hard I tried to push her out, she crawled her way back in, making my stomach turn. I missed her, so much it hurt sometimes. I know it shouldn’t, but I couldn’t get over her. She’d come down once again, last week when we performed The Way You Look Tonight, which didn’t help, as it fitted perfectly to how she looked; beautiful as always.
“He shoots, HE SCORES!” Zayn paraded around the kitchen, whipping his shirt over his head in success. He’d successfully thrown a banana peel into the bin in one shot, and he thinks he’s David Beckham. I was sat up on the counter, watching, laughing as Zayn collided with Harry as he entered the kitchen. Liam was at the cooker, cooking up a late breakfast for everyone.
“Steady on man.” Harry ducked past the still blind Zayn and walked to fridge. He pulled out the box of pizza that was lurking at the back, opening it up. Pulling out one of the slices, he put the pizza box in the fridge.
“Aiden’s gonna kill you.” Liam mumbled as he cracked a few eggs into the steaming pan.
“He’ll live.” Harry spoke with his mouth open, chewing on the cold pizza in his hand. Liam put the contents of the pans onto plates, sausages, eggs and bacon. Normally I’d be first in line, but I didn’t really feel like eating. Zayn grabbed a plate and put a few sausages on it and reached for an egg.
“Hurry Niall, before Zayn gets it all.” Liam tried to bat away Zayn’s hand before he took all of the food.
“Nah. I’m good, not hungry.” The three boys in the kitchen froze, remaining still for a few seconds. They exchanged a few worried glances with each other, before turning their attention to me. “Like I said, I like to kidnap kids and kill them.”
They didn’t laugh.
“Liam, tell him.” Harry swallowed down the mouthful of pizza, still staring at me.
“Tell me what?”
“Niall..” Liam put down his spatula, brushing his hands on his jeans. “Me and the boys are getting sort of.. worried about you.” He seemed a little hesitant to continue, so Zayn gave him a nudge. “You’ve not really been eating much. You’ve been losing weight. You’re getting really pale.”
I was shocked. I bit only lip, unsure as to what they meant. I know I hadn’t been eating much, but I wanted to be healthy for the show. And losing weight? It was just excess fat I had never gotten rid of during puberty. They had no reason to be worried.
“Guys, I’m fine.” They didn’t look convinced. “Seriously! It’s not like I’m anorexic, or anything.”
“We aren’t saying that!” Zayn spoke up, putting his plate on the side. “We just want you to be healthy.”
“And because I turned down some fat-soaked meat, that makes me unhealthy?” They threw each other another worried glance.
“You didn’t eat breakfast yesterday, and you left half of the pasta last night. You ate nothing all of Monday except two apples, and you even turned down nando’s at the weekend!”
They were persistent. I couldn’t win. I was perfecty fine, there was nothing wrong with me. I wasn’t ill. I wasn’t anorexic. I just wasn’t hungry, and I worked hard, but they were having none of it. They were just as stubborn as me, and they seemed convinced they were right. I had to convince them otherwise.
“Fine.” I hopped off of the counter, and bent over towards the plates. I grabbed a sausage, the grease dripping down my fingers. I wrinkled my nose in disgust, but I was determined to prove my innocence. Putting it to my lips, I took a bite, the meat stinging my taste buds. I chewed slowly, the sickness building up inside me. I swallowed loudly to prove I’d eaten it. “Happy?”
The boys let a chorus of sighs, and went back to doing what they were doing. I slowly backed out of the room, clasping my hand over my mouth. Couldn’t hold it in. I crashed into a lump as I reached the doorway, and spun round to see Louis smiling at me.
“Careful man.” That was it. I dropped the sausage on the floor, and ran out of the kitchen, trying to keep it in. I ran down the hall until I reached the downstairs bathroom. “Niall! You dropped your sausage!” Louis called back to me but I didn’t pay attention. I dived inside the bathroom and slammed the door shut. I collapsed against the toilet and spewed up the sausage and everything else I’d eaten in the past 24 hours. Wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to draw attention to myself.
“Niall?” There was a knock on the door, and it opened, a small girl poking her head around it. “What’s up?” She opened the door fully, standing there looking worried. Liam appeared from behind her, his expression twice as worried.
“It’s alright Cher, I got this.” She threw me a sympathetic look before hurrying away, leaving me and Liam alone. I flushed the chain, but didn’t move from my spot on the floor, cowering against the wall.
“Niall, seriously,” Liam came and sat down to me, crossing his legs facing me. He pulled a towel off the rack and handed it to me so I could wipe my face. “What’s bothering you so much? We can help.”
I felt like crying. I could feel the tears building up inside, and I couldn’t keep them in. I was always emotional, but I didn’t normally cry at these things. Liam held me as the tears slipped from my eyes, cradling me as I wept. Everything I had kept in the past five weeks came pouring out rapidly.
“It’s Ellis.” I choked on my own tears, my voice throaty and weak. “I miss her. I love her.”
