confessions on the wall - lashton

28

"what-what do you mean from yourself?" Ashton asked, nervously fidgeting with the hem of his tshirt with his free hand.

He was always thankful that Luke never mentioned his attachment to comfortable outfits. Sure, he sometimes wished that he looked nicer for Luke especially since he had neglected to do his eyebrows or adjust the bandana on his head, but at the same time he wasn't going to change who he was just for a guy.

"I mean, I just... I don't know how to describe it." Luke said, running his fingers through his blond hair. He looked worried, anxious almost, that much Ashton could tell.

"Just breathe." The older boy said, concerned. "Try to calmly explain to me what you're talking about."

"Things are shit here and I'm so fucking done with this place. The whole world is a piece of shit, but it's like..." He paused, blue eyes piercing through camera into Ashton's. "when I'm with you, things are less shitty."

Ashton couldn't help the smile that formed on his plump pink lips. "Good. That means that I'm helping you like I promised I would."

"No, but it's different, it's-it's you." Luke tried to explain, but he himself could barely comprehend what he was feeling inside. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I like you."

"I like you too, Luke, that's kinda why we're even friends." The boy said slowly in confusion.

"No, I mean... I want to take you out. Like, on a date." The boy finally got his words out and unscrambled, but as soon as he said it, he wished that he hadn't said anything because judging from the look on Ashton's face, his answer didn't seem too good.

Ashton, on the other hand, was speechless. Unsure if he had heard him correctly, he finally spoke up after a few moments of sheer awkward silence. "What?"

"I'm sorry if that's too forward, or-or maybe you don't like me like that, but you're an amazing person and even though we only hung out like once in real life, I want to see you more. Please, just-just say yes." The blue eyed boy practically begged him, his anxiety rising by the second.

"Okay."

"I know that you--" Luke started, but he stopped, a big grin forming on his face. "Wait, what?"

"Okay. I'll-I'll go out with you. Don't really know why you'd want to but..." Ashton trailed off with a shrug.

He sort of felt like he was betraying himself. The boy had made a promise to himself a while back that he wouldn't ever get involved with someone because of his condition. But, somehow, it was different. However, he couldn't help the dark feeling deep inside him that wondered if Luke was only taking him out because he pitied him. Surely no one would ever willingly want to take him anywhere because they actually liked him like that.

And what about what Luke had admitted to him before? About only liking that kid that bullied him simply because he gave him attention. Does Luke only like him because he gives him attention?

"Of course I want to." Luke said, exhaling heavily in relief. "Tomorrow at seven, okay? I'll pick you up."

Ashton just nodded, and as the boys exchanged their goodbyes and bright smiles, the older of the two instantly began to panic about what he was supposed to even wear. He hadn't been on a date in so long that he forgot what is acceptable. Hell, the only thing he really wore at all anymore were oversized tshirts and sweatpants. Again, he didn't want to change himself... but maybe he could make an exception just this once to look halfway decent. Which brought him back to the question: why the hell did Like want to go out with him?

-

Ashton: 02:17PM
so where exactly are we
going on this date?

Luke: 02:23PM
It's a surprise 🙃🙃
but don't worry, you'll
like it.

Ashton: 02:25PM
then how am i to know
what i'm supposed to
wear tomorrow?

Luke: 02:26PM
You look good in anything.
Wear whatever your little
heart desires... Just make
sure to wear something warm.

Ashton: 02:27PM
ugh, just tell meeeee

Luke: 02:27PM
Nope. Not gonna do
it 🙃

Ashton: 02:28PM
you're so difficult,
hemmo

Luke: 02:28PM
I know🙃🙃

Ashton: 02:28PM
send me that damn
upside down smiley
one more fucking
time i dare you😤

Luke: 02:29PM
Sorryyyyyy

Luke: 02:30PM
🙃