Diary of a Worldwide Famous Band Member's Girlfriend - Summer '12

June 2nd - 12:35 PM - 1D Tour - Travel to Destination

"You don't understand! I'm ruining everything for him. Being here is just...it's too much for me, you know? I really need to come home!" I cried into Harry's phone. He left his in the bus and since mine was ruined, I only had his to use. When I got like this, I stuttered and I struggled to find words. I had been a mess for almost 24-hours and it was getting old.]My friend Cara was on the line, letting me vent to her. "There's just so much pressure to be Harry's perfect little girlfriend that I'm just...I'm so overwhelmed by it all. One day they love you and the next they want to kill you. I just--I don't know what else to do, Cara. I've tried so hard!" I exclaimed.

"Emma, first, you need to calm down. Seriously, take a few deep breaths, ok? I hate hearing you so upset, so just breathe." She commanded and I obeyed. I closed my eyes and took in all the air I could several times. The tears calmed along with my voice. "You good?" She asked.

"Mhmm." I responded shortly.

"I think that you're just really submerged in the idea that you need to be perfect for everyone. What you really need to do is focus on you and Harry. Stop fretting over what his fans think and just...do you and don't forget to breathe along the way. Ok?" Her advice struck me. She was right but it's a lot easier said than done. "Just give everyone a few days to cool off, stay out of the spotlight, and everything will fall back into place. Don't come rushing home as soon as things get tough, Em. Show everyone that you're there to stay, whether they like it or not." She advised. That was why she was my best friend and the first person I called to talk to about anything; she knew how to make every problem seem much littler than it really was.

"You really think they'll forget about it?" I asked curiously, because this seemed like something that no one would forget.

"Maybe not completely, but something else will come up and they will obsess over that. The faster you forget, the easier it will be to move on." It's funny how she knew how to get through to me more than my own mother. "I gotta go, but text me how everything goes, ok?" She finished.

"Ok. I miss you lots, bye!" I replied, still thinking about what to do and what she said.

"Miss you too! See ya!" I heard the phone click and the door to the bus open. I rushed into the tiny bathroom and locked the door. Looking back at myself in the mirror, I wiped off the black that blurred under my eyes. It's a good thing I don't wear eyeliner because that would have made my face way more unrecognizable at this point. I heard only one pair of feet move closer to the bathroom.

"Emma?" Harry knocked on the door once. After making myself look somewhat decent I opened the door to my boyfriend. He looked down at me and saw my face and his suddenly saddened. "I'm so sorry." He pulled me into a really tight hug that surprised me but made me feel so much better.

"No, I'm sorry. This was my fault, I got myself into this, not you." Which was completely true. Harry was apologizing for something that he didn't even do.

"Well, it's Niall's fault really." He mumbled just loud enough for me to hear.

"Now that's not fair!" I defended and as soon as I did I wanted to take it back.

"It's true...and you know it is." He said back.

"Harry, you can't turn on your bandmate and best friend like that. That's just mean." I continued, wishing I could just agree with Harry and move on. Once I got started talking, there was no way to stop.

"I can when he kisses my girlfriend." Harry paused, got serious, then let me go. He walked towards the front of the bus. "I don't know why you're defending him, babe. He started all of this." He looked up, simmering down from a potential argument that could have started. My shirt was still sticking to my skin and became quite uncomfortable. "Look at you. You've cried, you've been hurt, and you want to stick up for him when he caused this? I don't understand."