Lights. (An AJR fanfic)

Chapter 18

Warning: as always, unedited:)

Songs:

Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay

Madness by Muse

Pretender by Foo Fighters

No Faith in Brooklyn by Hoodie Allen

····· JACKS POV·····

With the idea of Adam thinking Kay was a spy constantly living in the back of my mind, I led Kay back to a room that had all of her stuff in it from the hotel. I left her to get ready for the musical play thing we were seeing, and I know she wasn't looking forward to it, and frankly, neither was I, but I acted excited to try and get her to feel something. She wanted to just be in New York, but you couldn't actually be in New York until you attended an expensive as hell broadway show in Manhattan that you've dreaded for months. I've only been to one in my life so far, and it was for a school field trip so it was either that or do extra homework. And to put it simply, I never went back.

I got ready too, not bothering changing clothes or showering twice in one day, but mentally preparing myself for the boredom that was surely to come. I say in my room on my bed, facing the door. I hated this room. Not only because it was actually quite small- actually smaller than my dressing room- but because it looked exactly like Ryan's room, and Adams room, and now, Kay's room. I also hated it because it was the most comfortable bed I've ever slept on, and I couldn't take it with me on tour.

I thought about Kay's new room, and that she'd be leaving in four days. I didn't want her to go, it felt like we've known each other for out whole lives, except for the fact that we barely know any fact like things about each other, and, well, we've known each other for six days. I questioned why she left last night. She told me she was messed up, but that didn't help me. As weird as it sounded, I just wanted to know her. Almost more than how she wanted to know New York. I couldn't tell if I liked her. I mean, I know I liked her, but there was really no words to describe how I felt about Kay.

Confused was one of the biggest ones, but in could never tell how I felt towards her. I knew, well I hoped we were friends, and I wasn't sure I wanted to be more than that just because it would complicate things. It would take life to a whole new level, and I couldn't just predict the future to see if it was a good level or a bad one. Kay also seemed so independent. She never talked about boys the way most girls did. She didn't talk about girls that way either, thank god, because I don't know how I deprecated to that. I didn't love her, no, not yet. But there was something. And it was driving me insane.

I suddenly thought about Kay's room that she's staying in. She hated my room because of it's striking similarities to every other bedroom, so I wondered if she's change hers around. She was adventurous to move all the furniture around, so I bet she'll do that. Maybe she'll even flip her comforter so instead of stripes it would be plain blue. My heart almost stopped beating when I fully realized that she had her own room. Her own bed. I liked sleeping with her beside me, even if we never touched, even if it was in a bathtub. I liked knowing that she was there, that she was near me, that I could protect her or whatever.

I frowned with determination at this last though, forcing myself to pull it together. Jesus, I swear she messed me up. I never thought of protecting anyone before, I've never had reason to the role. I didn't love her. We've known each other for barely even a week! She was a friend, at the most, and even if I did love her, she wouldn't feel the same thing towards me for sure. She told me that her and Kari took forever to become friends. I'm lucky she likes me enough to stay in New York with me, even though she didn't want to originally. Kari told me that Kay didn't like people knowing certain things about herself. Kari still didn't know some things about her best friend, but that was why they were friends. Kari didn't care to know everything. And the stuff she did know, she kept hidden away in her heart, as willing to tell it to you as Kay was herself.