Bad Boys ~ Gerard Way x Reader

{Twenty Eight} ~ Honey If You Stay

It's been two days and I haven't left the hospital. You're fucking crazy if you think that I'm going to just leave y/n here all alone. What is she wakes up and no one is here? That's just fucking cruel.

Mikey's tried getting me to come home to eat or shower or anything. He even tried convincing me to come to school, a battle he knew he was going to lose. By now, Frank and Ray both know what's going on. I've debated taking y/n's phone and texting Tyler to let him know, but I figured that there's been enough Tyler drama going on recently.

Her grandparents don't seem to care much. When the hospital called them, they said that they went on a 'spontaneous vacation' and weren't able to come back. What kind of fucking grandparents leave for vacation and refuse to come back for their granddaughter whose dying in a hospital?

During my time in the quiet hospital room, I've had a lot of time to write. I've worked on a few comics, jotted down some song lyrics and what not. There's a specific song that I've noticed has a whole lot to do with y/n. I'm thinking of calling it 'Famous Last Words', but it's just an idea.

The boys have been taking turns bringing me food and coffee and changes of clothes. They've been really helpful, but have also been keeping distance seeing that I've become a ticking time bomb. No one knows when I'll explode next, not even me. I've already put one person I care about in a hospital, I don't need anymore blood on my hands.

I've been paying a lot of close attention to y/n as well. There are things about her that I've been noticing that I've never noticed before. Like how her hair has natural highlights, or how if you look close enough, you can see a faint scar on her cheek. When she wakes up, I'll have to ask her about it.

What if she doesn't want to see me when I wake up? What if she hates me for this? What if our relationship is never the same?

My thoughts carried my over to where she lays. Pulling up a chair, I sat next to the unconscious y/n. "You're so, so beautiful y/n." I whispered to her, brushing her hair out of her face delicately. "I wouldn't change anything about you." A single tear dropped from my cheek to her hand. I carefully wiped it off of her hand, then took her fingers between mine. I kept her colder hand trapped between my two larger ones. Her hand looked so small and fragile compared to mine. It made me chuckle.

"I'm going to spoil the fuck out of you when you wake up y/n. I'll take you out where ever you chose, buy you anything you want. I'll do anything to make up for this, I promise." I wrapped my pinkie around hers, "Then we'll load up the car, and run away to Neverland. Just like I promised."

I hung my head and tried to stop my eyes from releasing any more tears. I need to stop crying, I need to stop letting me emotions take over me. I was so overwhelmed by the emotions rushing around me that I almost didn't feel her hand move in mine, almost.

My head shot up to look her her resting face. Her eyes twitched behind her eyelids as her fingers moved about in my hand once again. "Y/n? Y/n, are you awake Sugar?" I asked, hope arising in my voice. I didn't get a verbal response, but she moved her hand around a bit more. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open.

Y/n's POV

I swear I could hear someone talking to me. The voice was so familiar. Was it...was it Gerard? Gerard!

My eyes wanted to open but they couldn't. I could however gain control over my hands. My left hand was significantly warmer than my right. It feels as if someone is holding it. Maybe I could try to move it to let them know that I can hear them. "Y/n? Y/n, are you awake Sugar?" Sugar... it's definitely Gerard. I couldn't find my voice, so I moved my hand again. Finally, I figured out how to open my eyes.

The second my eyes opened, I forced them shut once again. Holy fuck that light is bright. "Here," Gerard said, letting go of my hand. I could hear footsteps leaving me followed my the sound of a light switched being flicked off. Gerard soon returned to my side and picked my hand back up.

Due to the decrease in light, I was able to open my eyes once again. Slowly my eyes opened once again, starting at a squint, then fully opening. "Y/n." Gerard breathed. My eyes traveled over to look at Gerard. Poor baby, he looked to be a mess. His hair was tossed in every direction while his porcelain cheeks were stained with tears. His bright hazel eyes seemed duller but were bloodshot. "Sugar, oh my god Sugar I'm so sorry." Gerard hiccuped, tears beginning to flow again.

"N-No." My hoarse voice croaked. Gerard looked at me confused.

"No?" He asked, unsure of what I meant.

"D-Don't...cry." I lifted my hand to cup his face. Gerard held my hand against his cheek with his and locked his fingers between mine. He let his head lean into my touch,

"I'm so sorry y/n. I'm so sorry I didn't answer your call. I'm so sorry I flipped out on you. I'm sorry for everything." Gerard took deep and heavy breaths as he tried to calm himself, "This is all my fault."

"Stop that. I-It's not." I tried soothing him, but he kept getting worked up.

"Let's not argue about this right now." Gerard suggested. I nodded my head. Jesus Christ was my throat dry. Looking to Gerard's right, I saw a cup of coffee sitting on a table. Gerard followed my gaze with a chuckle. "You want some coffee?"

"Y-Yes please." I tried not to laugh, seeing it would hurt my voice even more. Gerard reached over to grab the hot cup of coffee and handed it to me. He kept his hand on the cup to help prevent me from spilling it. He helped me sit up before drinking it as well.

The hot liquid slid down my throat, instantly relieving the scratchiness I was feeling. I knew it wouldn't magically cure it, but it sure as hell did help. Gerard kept his eyes on me and wore the faintest of smiles. Well someones happy that I'm awake.

I gave Gerard the cup back so he set it on the table once again. His face dropped as he seemed to take on a more serious tone, "Why y/n?"

"W-What?" I asked, unsure of what he meant. Then I remembered where I am and why I'm here.

"Why did you.." Gerard struggled to finished the question, but I knew what he was going to say.

I felt embarrassed. I didn't know what to reply with. Do I tell him the truth? Or do I lie my way through? "I.... I thought everyone would be h-happier without m-me around."

Gerard looked appalled, "Why would you ever think that?"

"I-I figured you'd be happier with someone who wasn't as much of a p-problem as I was. Tyler would be happier not having to d-deal with me. The g-guys would have y-you back, and my grandparents could be happy without m-me to look after." I summarized my reasoning. Now that I saw it out loud, it does seem a bit crazy, but it made sense at the time.

Gerard sighed and looked at me with sympathy, "Y/n, none of that is true. Not one fucking part of it. They guys love having you around. You're like a little sister to them, Tyler too. I know I've been weird about Tyler, but it's obvious he loves you like a little sister, and I was crazy to think otherwise. And I.... y/n I love you. I couldn't ever imagine living without you. I love making you smile and laugh. I love how you get all shy when I compliment you. I love when you step out of your shell a little bit and do something risky. I love everything about you y/n. Don't you dare ever think otherwise."

I took a minute to take in everything he had just said. Gerard said he loves me. The big 'L' word, and he didn't even hesitate saying it. He meant it. "G-God dammit I'm gonna cry." I chuckled. Gerard smiled and scooted closer to me, "So... so you aren't mad at me?"

"I could never be mad at you Sugar." Gerard kissed my hand.

"I love you so much Gee." I squeezed his hand between mine. "I-I'm sorry about all of this."

"It's all gonna be okay Sugar. I promise." Gerard stuck out his pinkie. I couldn't keep myself from smiling as I locked mine with his.