Cursed (Old Version)

Cursed: Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Two funerals in two days – that would be a lot for anybody to handle. At the moment, I have no idea how I'm handling it. I feel like I'm going through the motions by trying to be supportive, but not really supporting very well because of this wall of numbness I have inside of me. I can't help it. I don't want to deal with anything, but I remember waking up the day after everything and realizing how long the next few days were going to be, so up came this wall to help me hide.

I sigh quietly, looking at myself in the mirror, all clad in black. Gingerly, I tuck my shirt into my skirt and smooth it all down with my hands, tentatively noticing all the wrinkles disappear and reappear within seconds. They won't fully go away...and my mother's suggestion of throwing my skirt in the dryer, because she knows I never fold or hang stuff up, now sounds like a good idea. Yet, I find myself still too tired to go put it into the dryer, even though the dryer is just downstairs. All I want to do is get ready as soon as possible, as if somehow...it will make the rest of the day move just as fast. But now, I'm just stuck for another hour, doing nothing except trying to smooth my skirt down.

A gentle knock snaps me from staring at my skirt to look at the door, which doesn't open, but my mother's voice can be heard through it calling quietly, “Carwen? Nene's mother just called. She was wondering if you could stop by their house. They said they'd take you to their grandma's funeral themselves.”

“W-what's wrong?” I ask with a crackly voice from not using it all morning.

“She wouldn't say, but I'm sure it has something to do with Nene, dear,” my mother muses with a glimmer of humor.

So it finally hit her...and maybe now she will be angry with me. I knew it would hit her eventually, and I suppose today of all days today would be a good day to wake up and realize what happened. My heart begins to ache though, because I don't know what to say to her. Yet, I can feel it, her pain over her grandma. I understand it, but I still don't know how to stand up with her against it, especially while facing my own troubles that still remain topped with...confusion, among many other things.

I nod to myself in the mirror, grabbing all the strength I have in my being, “I'll head right over there. C-can you drop me off, Mom?”

“Of course, dear,” she answers through the door.

For a brief second, it seems that my plan of making the days go by faster seems to be working. The drive to Nene's house doesn't take long at all, so much so that it truly feels like I blinked and we were there. Then, once I get out of the car, I find the walk up to her front door taking forever. It feels like every step I take puts me another step farther away – even though I know that's impossible. But honestly, suddenly everything felt that way.

A quiet knock, that apparently I make, seems to shock me; it makes a deafening noise, to be honest. Then, the door opens to reveal her mother standing on the other side, looking frail and distraught. She kindly gestures towards Nene's room after giving me a quick hug. Then, as if I'm sneaking, I carefully watch my feet as I go towards her room, cautiously placing them on the ground as if stepping on a creaky board will blow up the house or something.

“Nene?” I ask as I lightly knock on her door before gently creaking it open. I frown as I find Nene sitting on her bed, dressed all in black too as if she's completely ready, but staring at the wall as if she isn't there at all.

I sit next to her on the bed delicately, staring at the wall with her for a few minutes before I sigh, and turn to face her, “Nene, w-we have to go soon.”

I imagine her skin cracking from not moving for so long when she moves to reply, even though I know that doesn't happen, but the small shake of her head just seems to rattle her entire body, nonetheless, “I...can't.”