Cursed (Old Version)

Cursed: Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I toss and turn in my bed over and over again with my mind pounding over every single, little thought. It's creates emotions where none existed before, and nothing seems to calm my thoughts. I pop out of bed just listening to the silence in our house, sucking in some air and running my fingers through my hair. It's all sooo much to take and...I can feel death hanging over me.

My chest throbs and I untangle myself from the sheets to go look outside my window, finding two shadows lurking around outside. As if they knew I was there, they both look straight at me and gesture coldly with their hands for me to go outside. I roll my eyes, crawling back into bed, but finding sleep just hanging in the background of my thoughts. I can feel it in my blood with these whispers of...death.

I feel my curse pound in my blood...and suddenly, I know I can't be afraid of what is to come. My destiny is this, and even the angels know it. I get up and glance out the window, finding even more shadows just standing outside my house this time...as if they are listening to every thought going on in my heart. I chew my lower lip while I observe them, and then instantly all their eyes meet mine, glistening like jewels in the dark. One moves into the moonlight and gestures with their hand again and I feel everything in my soul become quiet and simple. Finally, I know what this curse means.

And even though that thought brings me peace, every inch of my body begins to shake as I neatly comb my hair, pulling it back into a pony tail before putting on my favorite pair of pants with a nice, loose, purple blouse. I look at myself in the mirror for one second, slowly raising my shirt to find my curse engulfing my heart. I gingerly touch it and sigh, nodding at my reflection and feeling my knees quiver a bit.

This is it.

I'm done, and I know it sounds pathetic, but I keep fighting against a destiny that keeps screaming at me the same thing every day, every time. It's not even a DIFFERENT variation every time. It's the same exact...truth. I'm going to die. If anything, I feel like...I need to. If anything, this is what I deserve and I'm lucky that this curse ends with me, which can justify my feelings about all this...I think. Regardless, I'm prolonging the torture of all the souls trapped within in the curse by keeping it here on this Earth. I need...to just let it be what it is and free these souls.

It chose me for this reason. I'm not some innocent sacrifice either, so I can recognize this misery. I'm slowly sucking away everything I took comfort in by destroying the calmness of my family, threatening and hurting my friends, and ripping apart my heart because I know, deep down...I deserve this. I deserve nothing else, because I'm not the cute, sweet, little girl I used to be. I'm messed up...I'm too...gone.

And...I'm scared to try anymore. What HOPE do I have to go against things that angels and demons know?! They've been on the Earth longer than me, and know the great secrets of the world. If I can end this curse, then why not? I'm just...torturing myself by refusing to accept the truth. I'm sick of feeling so gone. I feel dead already. This curse just reminds me of how hard it is to live in this world, every second of every day.

I'm just a girl...

I grab my coat, but then smile, knowing I shouldn't take it. I plan on working up a sweat...because I won't go down without a fight. I deserve that much. I've put up a great fight, in all honesty, and with this curse I plan on at least making a dent in the supernatural population before I...you know. Before I complete the curse, to be more specific. THIS is what's meant to happen, I think. The curse chose me, the souls need me.

Yet, everything in my body still shivers the second I crack open my bedroom door. It feels like this is wrong or something...or maybe just scary. And it IS scary. I mean, what will happen to me? Will this be considered suicide or a valiant death? I don't even know which one it is...