Though We May Fall {An Aphmau AU}

Her Dad

**Aphmau's POV**

    Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, he showed up. I was stretching, trying to get the blood flowing before I began the exercises Dr. Cameron had assigned me. She must have known how it killed me to sit in bed all day with only a couple hours spent wandering the halls when Aaron showed up after class, so she gave me several sets of exercises intended to help me recover the muscles I had lost while not straining my back too much. They were grueling, but I knew I needed to do them if I ever wanted to move how I used to. Even if dancing again seemed too far in the distance. Even if I was happy to leave it there.

    I was so tired of sitting around, doing nothing, while my friends could do whatever the hell they wanted to. I knew it wasn't their fault, and I knew that they tried their best to make me feel included and cheerful. But sometimes it was so hard to stay in this tiny room when the exit was so close. Only a week left. One more week, and then I'm back home. It's funny how quickly Phoenix Drop had once again become my home. Even though I had spent over a decade in O'khasis, I could no longer think of that city as home. The home I knew now was my dorm room with Dottie and the rustic house overlooking the central green in a neighborhood not too far from here. And to be honest? It was better that way.

    I was just about to tell Dr. Cameron that I was ready to go to the fitness room when I saw him in the doorway. Even though it had been about a year since I had last seen him, he looked exactly the same, if not older and tired. The sound of the opening door must have been muffled by the loud music I was playing, which I realized with a start was still blasting through the silence between us. With a click, the music died, and I was left staring at my father from across the room.

    "Too busy to come when I woke up two months ago?" I didn't recognize the cold tone of my voice, or the way my posture stiffened under his gaze. But some part of me felt like he deserved it.

    For a long while he simply stared at me, and I started to think that he wouldn't answer. But then his face softened, and he had the decency to look somewhat ashamed. "You know I'm not too busy for you." I scoffed, folding my arms and looking away in disgust. "Sweetheart, please. I would've come sooner, it's just that... well, your mother refrained from informing me about your situation until four days ago. I came as soon as I knew."

    "Are you telling me that you had no idea I was in a hospital for months until just four days ago?" Deep down, I knew I shouldn't be mad at him. After all, he had done everything in an attempt for a better life for the both of us. It was just after I decided to not be apart of that plan that everything fell apart. But the last words we'd said to each other still hung in the air, the room thick with tension.

    "No, of course not! Listen sweetheart," Dad opened his mouth, obviously looking for the right words to say. Nothing came out. Groaning, he shook his head. "This wasn't how I wanted to see you again. Can we just sit down and start over? I promise I'll answer any questions or accusations you have." The better side of me won out, and I nodded, turning around in order to sit down on the bed I hated so much. I heard his sharp gasp, and I could only imagine what he thought of the differing colors and patterns on my back. I refused to look at him again even after I had turned around again on the bed, leaving him to drag a chair closer.

    We sat in silence for several long minutes, neither of us knowing how to start. Things had never been exactly easy between us, but we had always shared that bond that all fathers and daughters do. However, now it seemed dangerously close to breaking.

    When I could take it no longer, I found my voice breaking as the words tumbled out of my heart. "How can you sit there like everything's fine? I almost died, and yet the first time we see each other you pretend like nothing's happened?" I was shocked at how hurt I was. I hadn't known Dad not being here meant so much to me until this very moment.

    Dad reached out a hand, and I let him take mine in his own. He gently ran his thumb over the scars on the back of my hand, remnants of the asphalt cushion I had landed on after the explosion. "Aph, everything's happened. I just... just don't know how to go about accepting it all. Irene, sweetheart, you have no idea how the world stopped when I turned on the television and your name was in giant letters on the news. Knowing that you were hurt, you might be-" his voice choked on the next word, and I couldn't blame him. I had almost started bawling several times when I thought about how close to dying I had come. I watched as his shadow's head shook before I focused on the hand that was now clenching mine tightly, "It was awful thinking that the last time I ever saw you, the last time we ever spoke was with such hate. I got the first flight over to Phoenix Drop, all the while praying to every god above for your safety. And then, you almost died in surgery..."

    "What." I breathed, finally daring to look up at him. That was the first time I had ever heard about that. All Dr. Cameron or Aaron or anyone would tell me about surgery or afterwards was that it was rough at first, but soon it was clear that I was going to be okay. No one had ever told me... I'd never heard...

    "I guess you didn't know that," Dad whispered, letting go of my hand to run his own through his hair. I stared blankly at him, mind racing yet at the same time... completely silent. He groaned, refusing to meet my eyes. "There were... complications during the surgery, at least, that's what the doctors told us after your heart gave out six hours in." His words were flat, but I could tell they were masking the fear that still haunted him, four months later. "Thank Irene they were able to save you. Hearing what that Aaron boy said, how distraught all of your friends were as they waited... It made me realize how much I've taken you for granted Aphmau. I had a beautiful daughter that I had watched grow into this strong young woman, and I had been so selfish for so long... Sweetheart, I promise you that I stayed in Phoenix Drop for seven weeks, living out of a hotel room as I waited for the day you would wake up and I could apologize for all of the awful things I'd done. I only went back to O'khasis after work dragged me back, but I would've come running the day you woke up if I had known. Your mother... she didn't tell me because she didn't want to stress you out after all of the stress you're already under. And, I understand. I just wish she would have told you that as well."

    I was shaking, and some childish part of me made me reach out and grab his hand again. He seemed so shocked by the gesture, but he let me pull him closer. It was like that time after our dog had died and I had cried all night, and Dad had held me until I had fallen asleep hours later. I loved Dad. I had forgotten about it after this awful year between us, but I really did. After all, he was my only parent for ten years, and I couldn't just forget about everything he had done for me during that time.

    Maybe someday I would confront him about PAA and everything I had uncovered, but for now? I was content to be held by my dad, trying to recover the special thing we had almost lost.