Last July

Chapter fifty five

"Kendall"

I stopped abruptly swinging my head as I rushed down the steps of my apartment. I had a full day today, between having to babysit Clarke so my sister could sleep and submitting my script to Peter, to making it back home and figure out if I was really going to do this. I'd told Kay not to take on a nurse since I was here.

I wanted Clarke to myself and I wasn't fond about having a complete stranger around my young nephew either. She was fine with it. That meant less spending for Charles and more sleep for her for not having to stress about whether they'd take good care of him while she was out or sleeping. And sleeping at this point was what my sister did best.

My hands tightened about the straps of my bag as the person who called out to me stepped into view. I took a deep breath taking in the convoluted town air, thinking of how heavy it felt compared to the time I spent in Bahiea Bay. As he drew closer my eyes drifted to the surrounding street, the sun was up and though rain had fallen only hours earlier, the ground was crisp. I hated when summer was like this- hot and miserable. But that was expected.

On every hand there was high risen buildings, only every block or so was greenery and it wasn't enough to consider as shade when the time struck twelve in the afternoon. Everyone was trying their best to contain the heat, I myself was forced to dress in only a thin floral dress. No straps. The less accessory to it, the better.

He stopped two feet away from me, his messy hair blowing out of place as the wind picked up. He looked different than how I'd known him to be for the last few years. He was dressed in a grey, almost light brown sleeved cardigan that spread broadly attenuating his chest, it was thin I realised with blue jeans and his ever so reliable black timberland boots. His blue eyes met mine as my eyes traveled back to his finally accepting that he was really before me. He looked good, better than he was when she died. That's good, I suppose.

"What are you doing here?"

He moved closer and instinctively I took a step back keeping the space between us. His face betrayed confusion but I was thinking of me and not him. I knew myself better than anyone, I didn't want to fall prey to him, if he apologized being close to me, I might be tempted to fall into his arms and I couldn't let that happen.

"I came to see you" he replied finally. "Can we talk?"

"About what? We already said everything we needed to"

"Maybe" he looked down. " I've been thinking, I was wrong, what I did, why I did it. You didn't deserve that"

I snorted.

"Kendall I'm serious. I'm really sorry I pushed you away, I'm sorry I left, it was stupid and selfish of me"

"It was stupid and selfish of you" I repeated agreeing. "I loved her just as much as you did and you made me feel as if I didn't exist and I wasn't worth anything when you left"

"I know" he said. "I know"

"So then why are you here?" I asked confused. "Do you want me to tell you that I forgive you? Fine I forgive you for being a asshole and coward"

He frowned. "Kendall? Did you just -"

"Yes I just called you an asshole" I responded.

Being honest I hadn't realized I was still this angry over what he did, I thought I was over it, having cried and talked about it with Phillisa and maybe even Andrew but facing him now, I realised I still had some unresolved resentment towards him. I understood his taken aback reaction to me calling him an asshole borrowing it from andrew. But hearing myself admit it surprisingly felt good.