Midnight CEO. To hell and back.

47.

EBONY'S POV (A few weeks later)

"I don't get it?" I said to Jacob as he threw his head back and laughed uncontrollably to the punchline of his own joke.

"How can you not get it?" He laughed grabbing his chest. "Okay listen again." He cleared his throat. "What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle?"

"Ummmm..."

"Wipe it off and say you're sorry." He said with a huge grin on his face. "Wipe it off..." he once again threw his head back and cackled loudly slapping his leg with his hand.

"Wipe what off?" I said confused and touching my lip with my finger.

"When you CUM across an elephant you say sorry and wipe it off.." Jacob grabbed his groin and smirked. "CUM!" He sat up and looked at me with wide eyes, a smirk covered his face and I could tell he was trying not to laugh at me. "Oh, that is adorable and so fucking sad." He pressed his lips together and looked away from me once again holding in his amusement.

"Did something spill on the elephant?" I said nervously trying to understand the vampire's humour.

Jacob covered his face with his hand and laughed as he tried to hide it from me. "Yeah, you could say that. It was more a squirt than a spill.." he couldn't even get those words out before he started laughing again.

"Oh, was it a drink?"

"Nope." He said clearing his throat. "Just a big load.." Once again he slapped his leg with his hand and laughed loudly. "This is just too good. Best joke ever." He rubbed his eyes and then put his hands on his chest as he sat back in the chair and looked at me. "I'm starting to enjoy our time together Ebony." He said winking at me. "Everything is just funnier with you around."

"Well, it wasn't funny when you put that disgusting noise thing under my seat at dinner last night." I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him.

Once again his chest started to bounce up and down uncontrollably as he laughed. "The Woopie cushion was hilarious. You were like 'did I just fart?' Was that me? And the best part was that everyone thought it was you and just kept drinking the blood in silence trying to laugh." He waved his arms in the air as he laughed. "I tell you, I almost pissed my pants holding in that laugh."

"That was very uncomfortable Jacob. I thought something was wrong with this body. I thought it had broken or something."

"I know it was hilarious." He hung his head back over the chair. "So, you ready to meet the vampire council today?" His head sprung up and his big blue eyes stared at me intensely as I shifted in my chair.

"No, not really." I felt my throat go dry.

"Yeah, they are going to rip you apart." He said shaking his head.

"They are going to rip me apart?" I gasped.

He rolled his eyes. "Not literally...well, maybe? They are pretty unpredictable sometimes. They once put hot pokers into Carter's arms and legs because he defied their orders." He made a face and stuck out his tongue. "It was gross, to say the least. I can still smell his burning flesh."

I felt my body tense up. "Are they going to do that to me?"

"Probably, but hey they might have new ways to torture creatures now. Fingers crossed for you though." He smiled as he stood up. "Come on, you have to be downstairs any minute. Trust me, you do not want to be late for a council meeting. Been there and done that. Bastards kneecapped me and left me in the woods tied to a tree."

"I'm not going," I said pulling my legs up to my chest and hugging them tightly.

"Yes, you are." I heard Carter's deep voice behind me. "Jacob, kindly fuck off and annoy someone else."