craving - n.j.h

thirty four

"For fucks sake, Mum, we are not coming over tonight." I hear him say as I wake up, alone. His voice comes from the kitchen. "No! I've told you a hundred times now. We are not coming. Goodbye, mum."

I hear him lazily throwing his phone onto the counter when my toes touch the wooden floor. I then somehow manage to walk towards him, slowly making my way out to the kitchen, where he stands, hands pressed to the counter, facing away. His back is bare, with his inked skin showing. With my body heavy from sleep, I sneak in up to him and wrap my arms around his stomach, resting my head on his warm back with my eyes closed.

"Good morning." I say quietly, burying my head into his skin. He slowly turns around, placing a hand on my back as his other arm wraps around me to pull me closer.

"'Morning, sleepyhead. It's almost noon." He tells me as he lifts me up and puts me on the counter in front of him, I keep my eyes closed, a vauge smile spreading across my face as he pulls me closer to his body. I put my head in the crook of his neck, planting a small kiss before resting my forehead to his shoulder.

"You should've woken me up." I say quietly, when really, I wanted to sleep in late. He knew that. Niall keeps quiet. "You were talking to your mum?"

"Yeah." He answers me shortly. I open my eyes to face him. His gaze is locked at something outside the apartment window. He doesn't seem present.

"What were you walking about? I heard you say something about us coming over." I say, indirectly wanting to meet his family.

"Well, yeah." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "It was about some kind of stupid dinner. But I've decided we're not going." He sighs, his eyes still not meeting mine.

"You shouldn't just tell her no like that. I want to meet them aswell." I tell him. His grasp loosens around my waist. Niall moves away, picking a petal off the tulips from last night, crushing it in his hands.

"You can't." He tells me as our eyes meet. "Don't push me, Ella, please. We aren't going."

"Why not?"

"It's.. You can't. They don't have enough food and.."

"-That's a terrible excuse." I interrupt him. "They invited us over, of course they have enough food, Niall."

"We aren't fucking going!" He shouts harshly, slamming his fist into the counter. The muscles under his tattooed skin moves, and I instictively lace my fingers to the counter I'm sitting on. His knuckles are red, fingers pale in the light that shines through the window behind me. He takes a sharp breath, looking at me.
My heart starts to pound in my chest, and I am taken aback by his sudden hostile words. I feel like yelling at him, but I quickly decide that it won't solve anything. I keep quiet, staring at him with my eyes wide.

He looks at me. Muscles still tense. My fingers still grasping tightly to the counter.

"We.. We just can't. You have to trust me."

"I don't understand why." I tell him, my voice unsteady. His pale knuckles and tense eyes reminds me of Jason, but I can't admit it to myself, so I keep quiet, focusing on what he is saying.

"We are not going. Ella, please."

I watch him move closer to me again. When I hop off the counter, I can almost feel his fingers connecting with my skin. I move away, so that I am out of reach. I stand there, looking at him, and feeling unsure of something I can't exactly put my finger on.

"Alright." I finally give in. "But I will have to meet them some other time." I sigh, starting to walk towards the bathroom.

We didn't speak much after that. I kept to myself in the bedroom, reading an old copy of some book I had borrowed from the bookstore. We don't speak much, until Niall steps into the room, and there is a knock on the front door. I give Niall a "I'll get it"-look, before putting my book down, putting a pair of jeans on and before heading towards the door. I open the door in a swift motion, wondering who would be knocking on our door. I don't think anyone knows exactly where I live.

I open the door to see a short lady, dressed in a very pretty and green velvet dress. Her lips are pink and her eyes are glittering with a genuine, white smile pulling at her lips. Behind her, all I can see is a black suit and tie. Someone proper. Someone with dark brown, slicked back hair. Someone I know too well. Someone who is a complete stranger to me. My body goes numb, and it feels like I am going to drop to the floor.

"Hi love, I'm Maura, Niall's mum." She tells me and hands me a large bowl of something before pulling me into a small hug. I smile and tell her a 'hi, its so nice to finally meet you', with my eyes still plastered on the man behind her. "I hope we're not interrupting anything." Maura apologizes.

His smile is smug, white teeth. Those eyes that I know so well, seem so different. They seem so aware. At first, I can't believe it's him. I keep staring at him when he walks trough my door. I keep staring at him when he takes off his snow filled jacket. I keep staring at him when he hands me a bouquet of pink tulips.

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