A Bittersweet Life (1st draft)

Chapter 14

I sank into the warmth of his dark leather car seats. But despite how comfortable I was in his car, it couldn't distract me from what had just happened with Holden. It couldn't distract me from my throbbing lip, burning knees, and pain growing in between my thighs. But for just a moment, I was able to take a steady breath in the safety of his car.

The engine hummed as we drove into more populated areas with street lights and other cars. Soft melodies of jazz music echoed through the speakers. I turned my head to look at him. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly so his knuckles turned white. His jaw was clenched and he avoided all eye contact with me. We pulled up to a stoplight and he let out a sharp breath, finally looking at me from the corner of his eye. He pushed the button on the radio, turning off the music.

"What the hell happened to you?" He finally said after a long time of silence. His voice cracked with desperation.

I licked my bulbous bottom lip which was still moist with my blood. A hint of a metal taste lingered in my mouth.

"Please tell me, Talia," he begged. I looked away, feeling embarrassed. "You are my daughter. You can tell me anything..." I looked at Ellis again. His eyes glossy.

"Please, just leave it alone..."

"I know you had a date tonight," the car moved forward as the light changed, "did this boy hurt you? Hit you?" Each word seemed painful for him to speak.

"No."

"Then tell me," he snapped. "I come to pick you up in the middle of nowhere. You're hurt... Bleeding..." His knuckles were white once again and I sank down further into my seat. "I'm sorry... Just please talk to me, Talia. If this guy did something to you. You can't suppress it. It won't do any good."

"I can't talk about it," I mumbled.

"If not me, then I can find someone for you to talk to."

"I don't need a shrink," I snapped back. Of course, Ellis thinks the only way to help me is to buy me some expensive therapist to talk about my feelings.

"That's not what I mean at all," he sighed, "I just don't want you to think that this boy took advantage of you because of something you did." He swallowed hard. "You did nothing wrong. So I don't want you to judge yourself because you were in the wrong place with the wrong person who doesn't know the right way to treat a woman." I fought back the tears that were trying to pry themselves from my eyes. Ellis looked at me once more, but not a word was uttered from his lips. Instead, he took my hand. He took my hand and just held it in his for the rest of the drive back to the house. My hand trembled in his, which only made him hold it tighter. His actions were louder than his words that night. I never had the urge to pull my hand away. I felt safe in his grasp.

No tears were shed from me that night. That is until my head hit my pillow and all of the images swirled around in my foggy head. I couldn't hold in my pain any longer. My suppressed tears finally exploded from my eyes and cascaded down my cheeks as my chest ached and tightened as I gasped for air. Holden flashed through my mind. Then my mother, who I wish I could talk to, to make sure she's okay. Then Ellis. Oh god, Ellis. My chest heaved. Tighter. Tighter. One final gasp of breath and the tightness in my chest began to fade. My loud cries subsided into faint sobs. I felt like I lost a part of myself that night. Shattered, never to be put back together again. And yet, I feel like a new part of me was born. A part of me that accepted Ellis into my life as someone I could depend on. Someone to be there for me if I needed him.

***

Sun danced through the window and bounced off the wall pouring into my crusted, post-crying eyes. I forced them open as my eyelashes stuck to the skin beneath them. As I licked my dry lips, a familiar pain surged through me. I had almost forgotten what kind of condition I was in. My fingers reached up slowly and gently grazed my swollen lip. My body winced from the pain. A knock on the door caused me to rip my hand away.

"Come in," I said, my voice raspy. Randall walked in with a bright smile and a silver tray in his hands that had a variety of food on top of it.

"Good morning!" He placed the tray delicately on the bed and smoothed out the comforter that surrounded it. I eyed the pile of eggs, toast, bacon, and a tall glass of orange juice.

"What's all this?" I questioned, snatching up a piece of bacon and shoving it into my mouth. Carefully, though, as not to disrupt my lips healing process.

"Is it a crime to give you a delicious breakfast in bed?"

I laughed, "yeah it is." My expression was replaced with a more serious one, then, "did you speak to Ellis?" I threw the last bite of bacon back onto the plate that sat atop the tray, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I speak to Ellis about a lot of things," Randall said, waving his hand in the air. Randall was the kind of guy you had to pull information out of. He never liked to give me a straight answer. And it pissed the hell out of me.

"Did he tell you about last night?" I pressed, rolling my eyes.

"Last night?" A small smirk grew on his lips. If this was Ellis's way of getting me to talk about what happened, he was seriously mistaken.

"That's all I'm saying. Either he mentioned something to you or he didn't." I shrugged, grabbing a glass of orange juice.

Randall let out a sigh, running his fingers through his almost nonexistent white hair, "yes, he did say something about it to me." I coughed as some of the orange juice crept its way down the wrong part of my throat. "I know this may not be appropriate, but I am here as a listening ear. I have daughters of my own and when they were your age, I always encouraged them to talk to me."

"Thanks, Randall. I really appreciate that."

"Now, eat. I'll go get you some medicine for that lip of yours." Randall left, but his spot in the room was replaced by Ellis who slipped in without a knock.

"Hi." His voice shook. I placed my glass down on the nightstand. He eyed my every move and stopped when he saw a picture frame that sat behind the glass of juice. He crossed the room, taking hold of the picture. "Who is this?" He turned the picture towards me. In it, Andy and I stood in front of my truck. I held the keys in my hand with a giant goofy grin, while he held up a beer, obviously, with a toothy smile.

"That's Andy," I said, simply.

"What is he? Your mom's husband? Boyfriend?" I scoffed at his remark but stopped quickly when I remembered what he did for me last night. I couldn't be a bitch, not today. He obviously wasn't saying that to hurt me. He just didn't know.

"He was basically the only male role model in my life... He was my only father figure." my eyes fell. I didn't want to say that, but Ellis needed the truth. And, Andy really was the only father figure I had growing up. Unless you count my mother's many men from her one-night-stands because I certainly don't.

"I'm really sorry for that," he muttered under his breath. He sat at the foot of my bed and looked at his hands. "You know, before you came back into my life, I felt lost. A part of me was missing. But now, Seeing you, here, you make my life complete." He looked up at me with a smile and a tear forming in the corner of his eye. "The universe must like me more than I knew. It blessed me with the most perfect daughter and I wish I was around to watch you grow." I reached across the bed and took his hand.

"I'm here now. I still have some growing to do." Yes, I had my doubts circling in my head. Why did he leave me if he had all this love for me? But, I didn't ask him. I didn't want to know at that moment. I just wanted to be with Ellis. Progress was being made between us as a family and I would trade it for the world.

"Ah, yes. It truly is a bittersweet life isn't it?" I squeezed his hand tighter.