A Bittersweet Life (1st draft)

Chapter 33

The air was thick and chilled, weighing heavily on my chest. It was the kind of night where one might find themselves snuggled up by a fireplace with fuzzy socks on and a warm mug of hot chocolate in their hands. For me, that is, I found myself standing on the back deck, sockless, with no mug of hot chocolate warming my hands. No. Just barefooted, shivering and building up the courage to walk down the beach to Ellis, who was sitting in the sand with a thin blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

I drew in a breath. The chill of the air had dried out my throat, urging me to cough, but I held it in. My feet marched across the damped sand. The world around us was pitch black this time of night. I stood behind him. He didn't look at me, but I could tell he sensed my presence.

"Beautiful night, isn't it?" When I didn't respond, he turned his head towards me. "Join me?" He held out his hand which grasped a mug of hot chocolate. Steam danced off of the dark liquid. I gave into my temptation, taking the mug and plopping down next to him. Sand instantly stuck to my legs.

I took a long, warm, sip before speaking. "I'm ready to listen." Ellis looked at me, brows furrowed as he lifted his mug to his slightly chapped lips.

"To what are you referring?"

"Everything. I want to know everything. You. My mom. Why you left..." I wanted to take another sip, but my hands were frozen in my lap, clutching the mug so tightly I was certain it was going to shatter into a million pieces which my heart was struggling not to do at that moment.

"You won't run away again?"

I shook my head. "No. Not this time. I'm ready now."

Before uttering a single word, he placed his mug in the sand and adjusted the blanket over his shoulders once more. He drew in a shaking breath as if mentally preparing himself to dig up past memories which he has repressed for so long.

"When your mom found out she was pregnant, I was overjoyed. I always wanted a family. And it's not that we weren't ready. We were ready. I had money. My parents wanted to help us as much as they could. But, she wasn't so thrilled." A lump caught in my throat, this early into the story, I needed to pace myself.

"The day you were born was the best day of my life. Seeing you, tiny feet, so beautiful, made me realize I had a purpose in this world. You were my reason for breathing, existing. I couldn't even fathom why your mother..." He trailed off, breaking his gaze from mine and staring up at the moon, then to its reflection on the water.

"I went to get your mother some food from her favorite restaurant the day after you were born. When I got back to the hospital she was just gone. She left me a note, though." He sniffled and forced a laugh. "I was angry. God, I hated her. But then one of the nurses brought you into the room and I forgot about all of that."

"She just left?" I said with utter disbelief.

"More like disappeared. No one even saw her leave. She ran away." Slight anger thickened his words, but he inhaled deeply, washing it away. "You were all mine. We were like best friends. We did everything together. Then a few years later, I had you in daycare. I went to pick you up but the woman there said your mother had taken you home." My mind began to spiral as my heart tried to beat its way out of my chest, threatening to shatter into a million pieces.

"I tried to contact her. I tried to find you. But she hid. She took you away from me. I tried for years and years, and nothing. Then I found you. Twenty years later, could you believe it?" Tears streamed down his cheeks. "It took me twenty years to find you. I had to threaten to sue her to get her to let me see you. I hired private investigators. I did everything to get you back." His hand flew to his face trying to control the tears that erupted from his eyes. I grabbed his free hand and held it tightly.

"I'm here now."

"Yeah. Yeah, you are." He pulled me into a hug and nuzzled his face against my shoulder. It all made sense to me now. Everything. He never left me and that's all that mattered. But even though I got the answers, I still had so many questions. But not for Ellis. For my mother.

"Well isn't this sweet." My head jolted from Ellis's shoulder to find Clarissa standing over us. The moonlight showing off her furious eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Get the fuck up." She pulled a gun out from behind her back. We followed her instructions as my legs shook violently beneath me. Ellis kept his composure, not trembling at the sight of the barrel of the gun pointed directly at his nose.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked calmly yet sternly.

"I don't like to be fucked with, Ellis!" Her hand became unsteady. The gun shifted between Ellis and I. "We had something special! Dammit!" Tears streamed down her reddened cheeks. It was hard to find sympathy for her at that moment.

"Just put the gun down." Ellis pleaded, blocking me with one of his arms.

"And then this little bitch comes along and takes you away from me." The gun was then pointed firmly at me, no question about it. It was locked right between my eyes and all I could do was stand there frozen in fear.

"Please, you don't want to do this," Ellis pleaded again, sounding more desperate by each passing second the gun was pointed at me. I knew Clarissa took some kind of sick pleasure in his groveling by the smirk that crept onto her lips as her finger fell to the trigger.

"You're mine. And I don't plan on sharing you. Not with anyone." The echo of a familiar bang rattled my eardrums. A pressure surged across my chest, forcing me onto the ground. I gasped for air. I couldn't breathe as Ellis fell on top of my stiffened body. He was limper though. Blood trickled onto the sand beside my face. I couldn't move. I was crushed under Elli's weight.

"Help..." I squeaked out. "Help!" I screamed louder, my voice cracking as it struggled to claw out of my throat. But all sounds were drowned out by my rampant beating heart, which finally broke and shattered into a million pieces.