Our Little Secret (Kylo Ren x Reader)

I Can't Lose You

"What do you mean?" You whispered, terror strangling the words in your throat.

"He'll come." Kylo muttered, his voice low, "He was already suspicious of us, but now...We don't have much time."

~a few hours later~

"How long?" Leia breathed, her eyes swimming with thoughts, her eyebrows furrowed worriedly.

"A few hours." Kylo mumbled, "Maybe less."

"I'm so sorry," You choked, "I didn't mean for any of this to happen, I had no choice. I wanted to tell you, I really--"

"Y/N don't blame yourself," Leia sighed, shaking her head as she flopped down exhaustedly into a chair around her table, "I know how Snoke works." She eyed Kylo, a film of sadness casting over her pupils. You drooped your head, still feeling guilty even as she reassured you. The nausea from earlier was still present as you stood next to Kylo's looming figure, breathing deeply as your stomach threatened to empty again. Jina had given you something to help with it, but so far, it wasn't working. You held it in nonetheless, running your hands through your hair stressfully. "We have to warn the rest of the camp." She said, standing up again and walking towards the door. As she reached the exit, she turned back to the two of you, pausing. "I'm glad you told me." You realized that she wasn't really looking at you, but at Kylo, who's face was stiff and emotionless, as usual. "You didn't have to." She said with a small smile before she ducked out into the open, leaving the two of you alone. Her words echoed in your mind, making you pause for a moment. Why had he wanted to warn her? If he was still loyal to Snoke, then wouldn't he want this to happen? Unless...You looked up at him, searching his expression. His irises flickered with something amid the dark color. It was the same thing you'd seen in them time and time again, but you hadn't been able to name. Every time you'd noticed it before, it had given you hope. And it still did now. You leaned towards him, your hand resting tentatively on his arm. 

"Kylo," You breathed, searching for his gaze. As you spoke, he looked down at you, his eyes flicking over your face and finally locking with yours. "What's going to happen?" He stared at you, silent for a moment, before exhaling sharply, his jaw clenching. 

"We're going to have to fight."

"But...who's side are you fighting on?" You whispered, your gaze pleading. He paused, mulling your words over as you prepared yourself for more disappointment. More heartbreak. You weren't sure why you'd even asked. You knew what the answer would be. But surprisingly, his expression softened, his lips parting slightly as he opened his mouth to respond. 

"Yours," He breathed, his face lowering towards yours, "I will not lose you." Your breath caught in your throat as your forehead pressed against his lightly, your nerves dancing with shock and exhilaration. You couldn't believe what he was saying.

"I thought you said that if you had to, then you'd have to choice but to--"

"Stop," Kylo interrupted you, his hands reaching around your waist and pulling your body toward his, "Nothing will get in my way of protecting you." Your heart was slamming so loud that you were sure the entire camp could hear it, the pulse reverberating through your body. "Nothing." He leaned forward again, his lips pressing up against yours in a soft, fragile kiss, your entire body shaking. His hands moved up from your waist to your chin, cupping your face in his hands as he held you to him, his thumb rubbing lightly against your cheek. He kept you there for a moment, the world seeming to freeze around you as if you were the only two people in the entire galaxy. In that moment, nothing could hurt you. Nothing could tear the two of you apart. You were two souls who had felt lost for so long, finally having found solace in each others arms, safe from the realities of your lives. There were no titles. No obligations. No dangers. Just bliss. You never wanted to let him go as he breathed against you, your heartbeats melting together into a cohesive rhythm. But finally, he pulled away, keeping your face cupped in his grasp. His eyes locked with yours again, and your lips trembled as his left them.