Book Reviews [closed]

Fliched, By Agni_Infinity

Review for agni_infinity !

Characters
Madhi was a straightforward and reserved kind of character who joked around a lot in her head and kept to herself. When she first went to school and everyone pronounced her name wrong and stared at her because she was Indian was a good part of the story, because that often happens in real life. It was relatable. You could also use that to display character development, and the people who once made fun of her could later on change and want to be her friend.

Lee Taehyung was an adorable character, and he was nice and charming. Nothing was bad about him in particular.

Axl and Ocean were fine but now that I realize it, most of your characters didn't have much personality to them. What are their real qualities? How do they think? Since everything was of Madhis perspective and it was only of her cracking jokes to herself in her mind, you didn't give an equal chance to show all the characters in the story. You just described ocean as a pretty blonde girl with big blue eyes, when you could've described her more.

Introduction
The first chapter was hard to comprehend. First things first, the very first sentence was too bland and plain.

This sentence felt lazily put together and if you read most of the first chapter aloud, none of it would make sense at all. When writing, put yourself in the characters shoes and imagine how they'd feel about their life. Instead of saying all their actions and saying what happened in the past, make it happen. Describe it happening and put it into action.

Even though the story stated several times that she was talking to herself it felt like she was talking to the readers directly. You don't want to make it obvious that it's a made up story and that Madhi is a fake character, it's supposed to feel like she's a real person.

Turn this:

Into this:

When she said "promise I'll tell you later" that made it feel like she was talking directly to the readers.