Book Reviews [closed]

Woman Of Gold, By Libifumby34

Review for libifumby34 !

Plot
The plot of it was well thought out but it felt like the story was just following the life of some girl. It was basically about a king who apparently had killed a numerous amount of people, and apparently Aria didn't agree with that so her and another character had the chance to search for another king. The problem with this was that it was vague it didn't give much information. Why'd the new king kill so many people, was he jealous or angry about something? It left me with so many basic questions unanswered, so make sure you cover all the important parts. Under all the sophistication of the description, I should still be able to tell apart the basic skeleton of the story.

First Impression
The first scene had me confused, because too much was going on and it didn't explain in specifics what was really happening. Things like the weather, the setting, and what event they were even supposed to be holding weren't answered. Also, why did Aria and Otto get chosen for the quest exactly? It never explained why it was them, and only them.

Dialogue
I think the dialogue was pretty standard, and you didn't have many issues with it. Your style of writing dialogue is very unique, and it's powerful. But I'd like to note that at times the dialogue felt like it was somehow scripted. Just make sure that it doesn't sound too unrealistic. You don't always have to add on to the already said words, because it makes it sound extra.

Grammar/Spelling
Like I said with the dialogue, you don't have to always add on to the already said words.

In the sentence below you jumbled the sentence all up in one. That made it sound long and confusing, so to fix that just separate it into 2 sentences (or however many sentences you want) instead of one. There should also be a space between terror and stricken, and "bodys" should be spelled as bodies because it's plural.

Turn this:

Into this:
Before I could stop myself, I found my own legs shaking uncontrollably and rising. My head peaked above the innocent terror stricken bodies, now below me.

The ending of this sentence just abruptly cut off for some reason... so either put a period and change the sentence to make it make more sense, or continue the sentence to make it make more sense.