Atonement

•38•

•Aurie's pov•
After a long exhausting day at the beach and getting dinner from an amazing restaurant, Tom and I head back to the hotel to get some sleep before we have to fly back tomorrow.
I walk into my room, and see my phone on the bed. Before getting in the shower and getting ready to sleep I check the voicemail Haz left for me.
"Hey darlin' I'm about to go in so I thought I'd call. I can't wait to see you tomorrow, and I promise this will be done and over with so we can have a great life together. I'll make sure of it. I love you, bye."
The sound of his voice and the words he spoke bring pure joy to my heart. I press the button to call him back, but it goes straight to voicemail. Weird.. he doesn't normally let his phone die.
"God fucking damnit! Fuck!" I hear Tom yelling from his room, the sound of something crashing to the ground.
I jump up from my bed, running over and banging on the door.
"Tom?" I call.
I open the door and walk inside, seeing a broken vase and Tom lying on the floor in a ball, head tucked to his knees and his hands grasping at his hair.
"What's going on?!" I ask, falling to my knees at his side. "Tom talk to me."
He's crying uncontrollably, body shaking. I pull him into my arms and he grasps me tightly as his tears fall onto my shoulder.
"I need you to tell me what's going on." I say.
He pulls his face from me, shaking his head.
"Aurie.." He breaths out.
My body goes cold, and my heart stops beating momentarily. It's the look in his eyes.. it gives it away.
"No.." I say.
"Eli called.. he said it was a bomb.." Tom tries to explain through his tears just as mine start.
"No." I cry. "No this can't be happening."
"He's dead Aurie. He's gone."
It was those words, that make my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces, all falling to the floor. My body gives out on me, and I collapse into Toms arms. Sobs leave my throat as I silently pray, and beg god to bring him back. I just got him... and now he's gone. He had so much life left to live, so much he needed to do. This can't be the end of him.. of us.
Every part of me shakes, uncontrollable cries leave my mouth. I should have been there. I could have helped. Every emotion washes over me like an ocean. Waves of anger, sadness, denial, and finally.. numbness.
Tom and I just sit with each other and cry for what felt like hours, but he manages to pull himself together enough to call Jerry and let him know we want to fly back home tonight. We need to be there.
I pack up all my things, barely even able to get myself to walk. I feel like my entire body is broken, I'm empty. Everyone I love is dying and there's nothing I can do about it. In sixty days I've lost my dad, and the love of my life.
I lay back on the bed, grabbing my phone to listen to his voicemail once more. Just to hear him say I love you once more. The words that brought me happiness and joy not even an hour ago, now bringing me pain and sorrow.
William puts our bags in the trunk, and speeds us off to the airport. I text Eli, letting him know we are on our way. Part of me wants to be upset that he told Tom and not me, but I know it's because he wanted me to hear it from him instead of over the phone.
We get on the jet, and take off towards London. Tom sits next to me, holding my hand tightly. Not because I'm scared of planes, but because we need to be each other's support system right now. We are all we have.
"Hey.." Tom says, catching my attention. "He told his mum about you."
"He did?" I ask.
"Said you were the one. He said he knew for certain that you are the girl he was going to marry. He cared about you a lot. He loved you."
I feel tears start to slip my eyes again, and I give Tom a smile.
"I loved him too." I say.
Saying love in past tense sounds so wrong.. he may be gone, but I'm still in love with him. I will always be in love with Harrison Osterfield.
___
The car pulls up to our home, that doesn't feel too much like coming home anymore. Part of me is still waiting to see Haz standing outside the front door, waiting for me. All I see when I arrive though is Eli.
I get out of the car, running up to him and collapsing into his arms. He's all I have left.. everyone I love is dead.
"I'm so sorry Aurie." He whispers to me as he holds me tightly.
"I'm going to miss him so much." I cry.
"I know.."
"I should probably call his mum." Tom says as he walks up to us.
"Is there anyone I can call for you? You need a support system right now too." I say.
"Don't worry love, I'll call my brothers." He gives me a small smile, walking past me to go inside.
"Come on, you need some sleep." Eli says, walking me inside.
I take notice of everyone standing around, obviously feeling pity for me as I walk past them all towards my room. As I get to my door I hug Eli tightly once more.
"Please don't ever die on me." I whisper.
"Never. You're stuck with my forever." He says.
"Goodnight."
I walk into my room, shutting the door behind me. I pull my shirt off and pants, grabbing a pair of pajama shorts and slip them on.
My heart stops when I see the cream colored sweater laying on my floor. I pick it up, the scent of him filling my nose. Tears threaten to leave my eyes as I pull it on, hugging my arms around myself just to feel like I'm hugging him again.
Fuck..
I fall back on my bed, putting Haz's message on speaker. His voice sounds in my ears as I listen to the message over, and over, and over.
"I love you too." My voice cracks as I listen to the message once more before my phone dies.
I toss it to the end of my bed, popping a few sleep pills before resting my head to my pillow.
"Goodnight Hazzy."

A/N: soo.. is anyone else crying or is it just me?