give her love » james potter

32

It's my dad's birthday today.

February 11th.

Today, Henry Pierce would be turning 44. His whole college department and students would send over birthday cards and he'd receive dozens of baked goods from all the people who liked him (and a lot of people liked him, I think he was the easiest person to like you'd ever meet). We'd do our annual cake cutting, where I'd beg to apparate over for just an hour so I could join my family.

The cake was always chocolate. I don't know if that's important, but it feels as if it is. He never really liked sweet things but when it was his birthday he'd always want the most sweet chocolate cake you could ever eat. We'd always get it from this one bakery downtown that always sold over priced ice cream in the summer that really wasn't worth it, but Will and I always went anyways. Uncle Winston would always pick it up on his way and grab us some extra things because, "I was already there, Nelli. You can't expect me not to pick up something for the kids too."

Uncle Winston called my mum, Nelli because he'd known her as Gina Spinelli for twenty-one years. Everyone called her Gina was his reasoning, he wanted to have something just for them. So he called her Nelli and she would call him Bug. Mum never told us about how Bug came to be but I always wondered, maybe next time I see Uncle Winston I can ask.

So instead of going to Potions, I sit in my bed and look through old pictures.

(July, 1968

My dad's one arm was tightly wrapped around me, the other grabbing a piece of cake and bringing it slowly closer to my face.

"No," I laughed, squirming trying to get away. "I'm too old for this!"

He shook his head, and then the cake was all over my face. "You're only eight, kid. We'll talk about being to old for the annual cake smashing when you're 40.)

"I love you a lot," I say to my dad. Closing my eyes and getting under my blanket because I don't wanna be awake anymore. The picture is still in my hands and I press it to my chest, letting out a shaky breath. "I would've gotten you a new blue tie 'cause you only wear blue ties because it was Aunt Sylvia's favourite colour before she died, some cool wizard history book that's reading level is far too high for me to understand, and--"

It all hurts too much.

Hufflepuff wins against Ravenclaw for the first time in forever.

A party was inevitable.

"I didn't know you smoked," I mumbled, going to sit beside Sirius. He's climbed up to sit on the large window ledge, I do the same with an embarrassing amount of struggle.

He blows the smoke out the window, "It adds to my bad boy persona."

I hold out my hand, surprising him. He hesitantly passes the cigarette and I shrug, "When Sam and I dated, he'd always smoke. I would do it occasionally when I was stressed or upset, which was a lot when I was with him."

"I don't remember asking."

"Fuck off."

Sirius grins, "Just joking, Pierce."

"I know you are," I say, scrunching my nose and leaning my head out the window. "Still not used to you starting to be civil."

We're not friends . . . yet. But, ever since the night where we went to that strange room. It's like we're okay, and for now, that's more than enough because we're able to do the thing. Now, the thing is what I measure every single type of relationship to. It's the moment when you're in a room with people, but then someone says something or something just happens, and you look up at someone. That persons looking at you and you both smile a little because it's this moment between you too, that only you guys really understand. Maybe it's the fact your close enough to have some inside joke or maybe how you thought of each or maybe just the fact you like them enough to wonder what the other is thinking.

I honestly don't know much about aside from I love it a lot. Meeting someone's eyes and sharing that moment between you two. It's this milestone in relationships that I love reaching.

"So what's got you down?"

His interest surprises me for a moment, I cough a little then lean into the cold window. "It's my dad's birthday," I say, then stare out at the dark night outside, the moons a waning crescent tonight and the sky is littered with too many stars that are visible because of the cloudless sky. "It just surprised me how much it'd . . . suck."

"It does sound quite sucky," he says.

"Indubiously."

"What does that even mean?"

I laugh. "I don't have a clue, if I'm being honest over here."

He passes the cigarette to me again and I smile because for a moment it was okay. I stare down at it for a moment, then another, then another, this time I don't really want it anymore. So, I hand it back to Sirius and lean my head out the window to get a breath of fresh air, suddenly feeling lighter and more okay. 

He's been watching this whole little internal uplifting, or whatever you'd call it. When I'm trying to find a comfortable position to sit back in, he says, "Go find Prongs, Pierce. You've spent too much time with me already."

A part of me wants to open my mouth and tell him that I believe there's no such thing as too much time, but, instead, I get down from our window that's placed too high and do what he tells me. Go find Prongs.

James finds me actually.

I'd given up after a solid fifteen minutes and had sat down on a step, staring at the party in defeat. In my hands is a ham and cheese sandwich that I don't know how it got into my hands but I'm hungry and it smells good, so I'm taking my fourth bite. 

I look over at James as he takes a seat beside me, "Hey, Potter."

"Hi, Pierce," he smiles.

A song starts playing in the background, it's from one of Siobhan's many mixtapes. They're this very indie wizarding band that nobody knows yet, but she always says they're gonna make it big some day. I think they will too because the song sort of feelings other worldly. I'm not sure if I want to cry to it or just sort of get lost in the music.

It would take a while, to make you smile.

 I'm about to tell him I love this song but someone beats me to it, "Hi James," Sonya says cheerfully, she's smiling down at us and then moving to sit down between us, making me move over and get crammed into the wall. She turns towards me and smiles, "Hey! Lina you look so tired, babe. Is that why you're dressed in pajamas?"

I look down and laugh. I'm wearing my dad's college jumper and some jeans, sure it's not the nicest thing you'd wear to a party but I didn't realize it qualified to be pajamas. Suddenly I want to cry, but she's smiling and I don't wanna seem like a baby and I just wished I was in my bed, "Just a long day," I mumble, scratching my neck and looking anywhere but over at her and James. Embarrassment fills me up until I'm burning everywhere. 

It seems my short response seems to bore her because she's talking to James again, "I haven't seen you in forever," she says, then puts her hand on his arm. "Wow, Mr. Quidditch Captain, you've certainly grown some muscles since last year."

He flushes, not sure what to reply. "Yeah."

"So how's Lily?"

"I don't know," he says, honestly. 

Sonya looks surprised. "You're not chasing after her anymore?"

I can feel him looking at me, trying to meet my eye. But, I just look at my nails that are painted a red that reminds me of Gryffindor. "No, not really," he tells her, "I think I'm over that now."

This time I do look up because I didn't know he felt that way, but he's not looking at me anymore. So I watch Sonya laugh her pretty laugh and lean in towards him, he grows red making her giggle.

"So no plans for Valentines Day?"

I stare at them helplessly.

He shakes his head. 

She smiles. "Then it looks like we're going to Hogsmeade together this weekend, James," she tells him matter-of-factly. "I've waited too long for this chance to not take it."

Tender is the night, for a broken heart. Who will dry your eyes, when it falls apart.