give her love » james potter

36

("I have plans with Sylvia and Rachel," Jamie said, then gave me a sorry smile.

I nodded, "Don't worry about it," I lied, "I probably should be finishing my essay anyways."

It was Hogsmeade weekend and I'd realised, nobody had invited me to do anything. I hadn't asked either but, sometimes it made me feel almost annoying when I was always the one to ask. So I'd hoped maybe someone would ask me to come along with them, nobody had though. I finally broke and asked Jamie if she'd wanted to do something with me. But it seemed she was busy too.

So, Jamie left like everybody else had that morning. Leaving me all alone in the dorm. It was so dumb because I did have an essay to finish, it wasn't even a lie, but I just felt so lonely. I took a seat on my bed, feeling so hollow, and started to cry. Letting the frustration I had kept in finally escape, feeling extremely defeated at the moment.

They were all my friends because we lived together and were in the same house and would sit together at lunch, so that had to mean something, right? But maybe it didn't because everyone was out doing things together while I sat on my bed crying.

I just missed Eli so much because he'd always make sure I was okay. He'd always ask to study or eat together or do something, even though he had dozens of friends who he loved a lot. He always put me first because, "You're my sister, Lina. Nobody outranks you." I hadn't realised how hard the first year without him would be. Nobody actually enjoyed spending time with me other than him. They were only okay calling me their "Bestie" but never really live up to whatever you define that word as.

I didn't realise how hard third year was going to be.)

"Why are we meeting here again," James yawns, he leans against a wood beam of the stands letting the fatigue show.

"Well, we're gonna figure out this Sonya thing," I say, then hand him the muffin I had gotten for him on the way where. He takes it gratefully and I can't help but smile. "You're gonna have to end it James."

He takes a bite of the muffin, "But we're not even dating."

"You can't just stop talking to her suddenly. That's mean," I say.

"Oh," he frowns. "I'm not good at this relationship stuff."

I give him a fake look of alarm. "Oh my god," I say, then slowly start backing away from him. "I'm pretty sure this is a red flag right here. Maybe--"

James grabs my hand, pulling me back to him, a smile growing on his face. "You're so funny," he says, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"And, you're hardly the boy I'd fall for," I lie, making both of us grin at each other.

Hogwarts continues to be cold as we enter March, but the air's different. The smell of the snow that's starting to melt brings out freshness in the form of a dirty aroma. Winter's slipping by every minute even as the sun continues to rise so late and leave too early, it stays with us for a few moments more as we grow closer to the end of days filled with too much darkness.

James and I walk back to school, letting the sun rise be the back drop of our conversations. It's surprisingly cloudless this morning and we both stop briefly, to bask in the a sunrise that's decorated by the mountains it hides behind. It's all pink today, the sky feels like it's filled with love and I think it's ironic. The last time we watched a sunrise it was one of those warm blue but it was littered with clouds, but so much time has passed by the lonesome blue turned into a warm pink.

I know the sky changes everyday and it's the beauty of it all. The fact you never get to experience it again once it's gone.

But you'd be able to say that about a lot of things.