Chapter 25

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Tanna Carson

Reggie and I were currently sitting on the couch in TV room. Well at least I was sitting while he lay across the couch with his head in my lap.

He hums softly as I run my fingers continuously through his hair, not only soothing him but myself as well.

It's been almost another two weeks and although I wouldn't say I feel completely better, I do feel okay and that's a start right?

I've spent a lot of time with Reggie and Alex while trying to keep my mind off of Luke. I've noticed the boys have been quite distant with each other as well as the lack of band rehearsals that I was so used to watching.

Reggie told me that they hadn't actually had a rehearsal for over three weeks and the ones they did only ended up in arguments.

I thought they had only stopped rehearsals for the last week but over the last three weeks, apparently the tension was becoming more palpable.

I guess I didn't really realize what was happening considering I chose to always stay in my room over those two weeks.

"What's on your mind?" Reggie's voice breaks me out of my thoughts, causing me to look down at him, meeting his gaze.

"Mmh?"

"Still thinking about leaving?" I can't help but notice the sadness in his eyes when he asks that, making my mind return back to two days ago.

"Hey Reg?"

"Yeah Roomie?"

"I think I'm gonna go home for a while."

"I- where'd that come from?" He says slightly taken aback as his arm drops into his lap from around my shoulders.

"Well," I say shifting to face him completely before speaking, "I was going to go home for the holidays, I just thought I could go a bit earlier than planned."

"What about class?"

"Our course is on holiday from tomorrow, so I figured it could be a good idea to go home."

"Don't you want to stay for a bit longer, you know, with us?" I keep my eyes on his, watching the hesitation swirl within his eyes.

"I was going to Reg, believe me. I was looking forward to it, but now, I think it'd be best for me to leave, for all of us."

"What do you mean?"

"You have to understand when I say I think I need to get out of here for a while? Now that it's holiday, we would all be spending an awful lot of time together. I just- the only way I think I can clear my mind is to be away from here."

"I get that, but how would it be better for us? I'm gonna miss you."

"I know Reg, I'm going to miss you so much, I'm going to miss you guys more than I'd like to admit." I say teasingly, laughing softly to lighten the mood a bit. "But you guys haven't had a rehearsal in over three weeks, you guys barely talk to Luke. I just figured you'd at least be able to try fix things between you three, you guys have always been like brothers."

"Yeah, I'm going to pack tonight. I spoke to my parents, they've booked a flight for tomorrow night."

"Oh, that's really soon." His eyes visibly sadden as I sigh, holding his hand in mine, squeezing it lightly.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"No Tan, don't apologize, I get it, I just want you to be okay." I feel my lips twitch up into a small smile at his words, nodding my head in response. "Have you told Alex yet?"

"I- I'm going to tell him when he gets home." I sigh, thinking about how I should have told him first, yet I'm dreading telling him. "Reg, you have to promise to be here for him when I'm not. He's really upset about what's going on with you three and the band."

"Of course, I will." He reassured me, squeezing my hand as he opens his mouth to speak, yet stops himself.

"You can tell me."

"Are you going to tell Luke?" I can't help it when my heart tenses at his name.

"Not that it matters to him, but I wasn't planning on it, so just, if he does ask- you know what he won't, don't worry." The sound of the front door closing makes Reggie sit up before gesturing with his head.

"Well, Alex is home, I'll be here if you wanna come back."

"Of course Reg, wish me luck." I giggle playfully, putting my hand on his thigh before pushing myself up and walking towards the front door.

"Al?" I call out, laughing quietly at the muffled response coming from the kitchen. "Should have known, if you're not with Willie, you're in the Kitchen."

"Oh hush." He says rolling his eyes but I can see the smile across his face. I bite the inside of my cheek nervously and press my nails into the palm of my hand as I sit down at the island, across from Alex. "What's wrong?"

"How- why do you think something is wrong?"

"Your nervous tell-tale signs, you're biting your cheek and also-" he gently grabs my hand, opening it up to the the nail marks on my palm. He runs his thumb over my hand before holding it in his. "You're digging your nails into your hand. Should I be worried?"

"No, but I don't want you to be upset." He watches me intently, not moving to say anything else as he waits for me to speak. "I'm going home tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night?!" I watch his eyes widen at my words and I nod slowly in response. "I thought you were only going home in two weeks? I was going to come with you remember?"

"I know Al, but, I've just been thinking about it a lot. Staying here isn't helping any of us. I need to get away from here for a bit and you three need to fix things. The only way that's going to happen is if I'm out of your space for a while."

"Tan, it's not going to help if you're not here, I want you in my space. Is there no ways you can stay?"

"My parents have already booked the flight."

"I- I need you here." I sigh, noticing the pattern of sadness I cause between the two boys.

"I wouldn't do this if it wasn't the best idea for the both of us you know that right? I would be with you every second if I could."

"But you can."

"I'm only going to be a call away. You've got Willie and Reggie here and you need to fix things with Luke."

"When are you coming back?"

"The 7th of August." I whisper softly, feeling worse as the words escape my lips.

"That's in over a month Tan." I can see the distress that washes over his face with the realization.

"You boys need this. I need to do this."

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