A Fresh Start

Chapter 6- September 2012

Ryan -

"Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Why did you say that? 'Oh, I know who you are,' cause my brother was just a tool bag to you," I mutter to myself. For good measure, I kick an orange cone out of anger as I watch the cutest guy I've ever seen storm off, thinking I'm a homophobe.

Josh sees me in a mood and walks over to me, "what crawled up your butt and died."

My brother's an idiot. He isn't a bad guy, just hot-headed and dumb.

"Nothing. I'm good. Sorry, you lost. Can we leave now?" I say, trying to sound normal.

He nods and waves over some of his team, we head down the hill to the parking lot, and they're talking about some dumb meme, and I just ignore them.

TK stormed off ahead of us, but I can see the car he hopped in drive off. It took zero time to Figure out which ones were his foster family, his parents look nice, and his brothers were cheering. At least, I think you call them brothers; I don't know a lot about foster care.

I get into the car as Josh loads his gear in the trunk. He hops in the driver's seat, and he's sweaty and gross. "Wanna get Chipotle or Qdoba for dinner?" He asks with a hungry grin.

"Whatever. you pick," I say.

"Again. What got your panties in a twist?" He says as he starts the car.

"Nothing. Ok, it's not nothing. Why'd you call that kid the f word? I thought you were cool with gay people and stuff," I ask, making it seem like the act of his hate was the only concern and not the fact that I'm not straight.

"I don't hate gay people. I just hate that kid. He's a freshman on the varsity team. That's bullshit, and you know it," he snaps.

"Ok, then make fun of him for being a freshman. You don't need to be a homophobe to be funny," I retort.

"Whatever. That's not what was happening. Forget it. I want McDonald's anyway, so you better not throw a fit," he says as he pulls out of the parking lot.

The rest of the ride home, I can tell I got under his skin, plus TK getting under there earlier. I know he has more to say, but he never does. When we get home, our parents talk to us over our burgers, and the verbal hate fest is not mentioned.

I head to my room, and Josh catches me at the door, "I don't hate gay people. I don't want you thinking that of me," he says.

"Then don't say hateful things next time. Next time you see him, you should apologize," I say and leave him with his thoughts.

The next time I see him, I'll apologize too, "but who knows when that'll will be anyways." I groan out the last part into my pillow and open up Instagram. I looked up TK weeks ago when everything first happened. Our cousin goes to Mission Hills, and she filled us in on the rumors and stuff. Of course, I looked for him. at that point, his page wasn't private, so I got to see the brown hair brown-eyed dreamboat, learning to paddleboard on a lake that summer, rock climbing, and hiking in the Colorado mountains. Based on the uniform, I'd say he was Boy Scout, but I didn't get to ask, and now they're private thanks to assholes like my brother in the comment sections.

I know it's just a crush, but god, he is adorable. Even today, when he was pissed at me. He was dreamy.

"Next time I see him, I'm going to talk to him more," I vow to myself and pull out the math homework that I neglected.
******

Sometimes the world smiles on you in mysterious ways. At least, that's what my grandma says when something you want happens.

My JV football team played The Mission Hills team before their real homecoming game, so I was at the stadium anyways and just stuck around to watch the game. Wearing my white JV uniform, I don't stand out in the crowd as most of the team stayed behind.