Lost Hope

FOURTEEN

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

"This whole speech was a last minute thing so I'm sorry if it's a little messy."

A few people let out tearful laughs as they sat in their chairs, watching Athena on the little podium.

A slideshow was playing behind her and she wondered how many slideshows had been played there before that one 

All pictures of Christophe whether with family or her. But it was mostly the pair of them and she made sure not to look behind her whilst talking.

"Chris was such an amazing person that was always going around and cheering people up. People he barely knew. He was always willing to do some good in the world but it was never appreciated." Her voice cracked painfully as she fought tears. "We met when we were around three, in a park. He seemed too lonely for my liking so I went ahead and kicked his soccer ball, even though I really suck at soccer," she let out a shaky laugh as some sobbed louder.

"And we became friends. We stuck to each other's sides ever since. We did everything together. Every single thing we could. And honestly he was the only person that was actually there for me whenever I needed him." Athena let out a shaky exhale and blinked rapidly, clutching the podium's sides. "He was always there for me. No matter how happy, how sad, how annoyed or how broken he was; he stayed there." 

The people seemed to sob louder at that. "'Together through hell and back always and forever' we said. We even got matching tattoos—" she displayed her shaking wrist for the crowd and let a few tears slide down her cheeks. "And it's a tragedy that his life had to end so early. It's heartbreaking that he had to go so young. What's even more tragic is that he went away thinking that no one cared about him when each and every person in this room is crying for him. But people don't really know your worth until you're gone, do they?" She smiled bitterly through her tears and some of the students looked down, ashamed.

Athena took a deep, shaking breath. "I have something else to say, actually. And I know it's my fault, God, I know. Before he-before he . . . did it, he called me. Four times. And I was out with someone and a little mad at him after an argument so I didn't pick up. And until now, I'm still thinking if only I had picked up that evening. If only I could've spoken to him one last time after that argument we had . . . Maybe I could've convinced him to-to drop the thought. Not maybe, actually, I would have! I have this thought that he called just to know someone still cared, that he still mattered. But I didn't answer. And I'd never regret anything more than that." She dropped her head into her hands, her body shaking as she tried to keep the sobs in.

"Christophe was the best person I could ever hope to meet in this life that was anything but fair to him," she went on with broken strength. "He was the best thing that happened and will ever happen to me and honestly, I don't know what I would've done without him. He taught me a lot of things. A bit of guitar, skating, he sang to me when I was feeling down, he did so many great things to me and to a lot of other people and most importantly: he gave life a meaning. I'm so proud and grateful that I got to be his bestfriend or just in his life in general. And I am proud to say that I was there to him as much as I could. It was just that last time that I let him down and for that I will always be guilty.

"Finally, I'm saying thank you. Thank you, Chris, for all the brilliant things you did. Thank you for ever single thing, every single memory we shared together. Thank you for always being my hero. Thank you for the fact that you just existed and graced this depressing town with your cheerful laughs. I'm so sorry that I didn't pick up the phone ten days ago. I'll always regret it. I'm so sorry that you won't be celebrating Christmas with everyone because, truthfully, there's no celebration with you gone. I love you so so much, Christophe, and I'm so grateful that I got to be the best friend of someone as genuine, kindhearted and brilliant as you have been. No one can ever hope to forget you, Chris, that's just absurd. You will always be remembered. Never forgotten, I'll make sure of that. I hope you're safe wherever you are, dummy. This isn't goodbye, it's see you later."