Everything in Between

Chapter 28

New Year's Eve - December 2022

Cece and Reggie's wedding ceremony goes off without a hitch. The weather is as expected for the time of year - a gentle dusting of snow on the ground - the perfect backdrop to a beautifully decorated church. The ceremony flies by quickly after Cece's father walks her down the aisle, vows are exchanged, and their matrimony is sealed with a kiss.

Zach's eyes meet mine as we follow the newly announced bride and groom down the aisle as their maid of honour and best man. We pretended that everything was normal between us and not as though we hadn't communicated once in the past two months before the wedding. We hadn't shared a phone call, a FaceTime session or even a simple text message since he told me he was dating Katrina again, and I responded with a Thumbs Up emoji.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't typed out multiple text messages to Zach and then deleted them. I'd be lying if I said I didn't pull up his phone number and almost hit the call button multiple times. I'll admit that I felt panicked and uncertain that I wasn't prepared to accept that he was dating Katrina again and that telling Zach I reconnected with Tom was odd. But I'm trying not to think about it too much, and the best I can hope for is a smooth wedding for Cece, and Reggie filled with lots of love and good vibes because today wasn't about Zach and me having a complicated friendship. It was about Cece and Reggie and their beautiful families joining to celebrate their long-awaited marriage.

So this morning, when we all arrived at the church, and I had Tom at my side, and I saw Zach in person for the first time with a blonde Katrina at his side, I smiled, and I politely said hello to both of them and acted like my heart hadn't ached every day since our last communication.

On the other hand, Zach wasn't as polite as I had been to him and Katrina. I knew him well enough to know he was genuinely shocked to see me attend the wedding with Tom. Zach's expression was unreadable to anyone else when he greeted Tom with a firm handshake. But when his brown eyes met mine, we telepathically communicated in a way I only ever did with him: Are you fucking kidding me? I knew he wanted to shout, but he awkwardly said, "Doesn't this feel like a blast from the past." And for a moment, it felt good to be the one to surprise him with something for a change.

The reception hall was very posh with over three hundred guests, a seafood buffet, a chocolate fountain, and multicoloured roses spilling out of every jar, vase and goblet - and their families must have shelled out, at most, thousands of dollars. Cece worked tirelessly these past few months to bring her wedding vision to life.

All this to say, even though the reception hall was gigantic, I found it a challenge to keep a safe distance from Zach during the reception portion of the evening. We were tasked with the seating chart, seated near each other at the head table, and about to give our speeches about Cece and Reggie. Which is why I decided to drink a little too much in celebratory glee before dinner was served and why Bridget insisted I drink a few glasses of water before I threw it all up before dessert.

From seated at the head table, I can see Katrina sitting a few tables away with Zach's parents and other family friends. Her hot pink dress was impeccable, her tan legs crossed at the knee as she accepted another glass of white wine from the waiter. I'm finding it hard not to feel jealous as I watch her laugh during their table conversation, chat tirelessly with the Zimmermans, and then coyly wave at Zach when he finishes his eloquent speech. I purposely redirect my attention to Tom - who sits at the table next to her - and looks dapper in his three-piece suit, reminding myself how he's a safe and reasonable choice. The past two months with Tom have been fun, easy, and comforting, especially when I felt displaced by not hearing from Zach.

At this point in the evening, I still didn't know what to say to Zach. He's been standoffish and prickly with me all night. What am I to think? It was awkward, and I wanted things to be normal, but I didn't know how to make them normal. Sixty days without any form of communication and showing up with an ex-boyfriend, now my current boyfriend, was information I usually shared with Zach. Now, everything felt tense. We couldn't talk about how there was a palpable distance between us. It felt like everything I wanted to say would make things worse, so I said nothing at all. It was the weirdest and coldest I had ever felt toward Zach, and I wouldn't say I liked it.