The Desire Variable | Rewrite

⸻ FIFTEEN ⸻

I'm so sorry for the mishap, my darlings!! Here the proper chapter ♥

⸻

The car stops in front of my building, and Lex turns off the ignition. I'm in a strange state of mind, between the euphoria of the sale and the numerous glasses of Champagne and Bourgogne. I feel light and untouchable, like nothing can get to me.

But I'm also thin skinned, because I just spent twenty minutes in absolute silence with Lex right next to me. This tension within me every time he's around is exhaustingly draining. Especially since today was a long day, and nearly all of it was with him.

I stay there for a few seconds, unsure how to break the silence. If I could, I'd get out of the car without a word, but that would be rude as hell. "Thank you for the ride, again," I tell him, keeping my eyes upfront. "And thank you for making sure my car gets home. I'll pay you back on Mond--"

"Don't worry about it," he cuts me.

I don't insist, but I will still repay him. "Sorry for drinking too much. I was anxious, and it got the best of me."

"It's fine."

Now is a good time to say goodbye and exit the car. I should do that, but a part of me doesn't want to go. The part that has me twisting my fingers and hesitating. This man does things to me. Things I refuse to accept, things I can't comprehend, things I don't want to be feeling. This handsome, arrogant man, whom I desire more than I ever desired anyone else, is bringing me to the brink of insanity.

Maybe it's the liquid courage, maybe it's the way he was today... But I feel the urge to voice what's been on my mind all day. "I know you don't like me because I annoy you and all. But I really appreciate what you did for me, and how you made sure I wasn't getting scammed. I would have made mistakes otherwise. So, thank you, Lex, for helping me out regardless of our differences."

I find the strength to meet his eyes for the last part, sensing my heart in the back of my throat. I'll never understand how that man can have so much power over me. Gray is a cold color, but right now, Lex's eyes are only spreading heat within me. So. Much. Heat. My resilience, my will, my resistance... They all melt when he looks at me like that.

"You don't annoy me," he says after several seconds have passed. Then, he adds, "You frustrate me."

"Because I'm annoying," I feel compelled to insist.

"No."

The two letters make me lose all notions of time or surroundings. All I can see is Lex and his fiery gaze. My heart is beating harder and faster with every second that passes. I'm so overwhelmed by my own feelings that it takes me a while to register what I'm actually seeing in his own eyes.

Conflicted need.

Want.

Desire.

No, this is the wine talking. There's no way the Alexander Colemans of this world could want an Andrea Walker. He's a god among us, and my closest celebrity doppelgänger is Dora the Explorer.