The Desire Variable | Rewrite

⸻ SIXTEEN ⸻

Pretending that everything is fine when my life is falling apart is unexpectedly easy. But maybe that's because Kate and Tammy get along so well, and we spend the weekend focusing on ourselves and self-care. They even drag me to a proper facility, where I get a bikini wax that apparently needs to cover my butt crack too.

Oli and I have a date on Wednesday, which I won't postpone again, no matter what. Getting waxed is an overkill because I know nothing will happen. "Just in case," the girls insist.

I forgot how much that shit hurt, and as I'm holding my knees against my chest so the technician can work her magic down there, I wonder why the fuck we do this to ourselves.

My blonde friend hasn't peeped a word about Friday evening's events, but I know she's dying to hear some details. Kate is too smart not to know who reduced me to such a state of advanced debauchery, but she understands the matter isn't funny or up for debate.

The night from Sunday to Monday provides little rest, even though I have the whole bed to myself again. I keep tossing and turning, wondering how things will be in the morning. There's a reason why bosses and employees don't mingle. It never ends well.

When my alarm rings on Monday morning, I have scarcely slept for three hours at best, and I'm in no shape to face whatever the day will throw at me. I consider calling in sick, but it's too cowardly.

So, I get ready and go to work, bottling everything up.

To my relief, Lex isn't in yet. The strong facade I built deflates at once, reassured to see the confrontation won't be happening right away. I sit on my chair, and as my computer boots, I stare at my keyboard, holding my head between my hands, elbows of the glass desk.

Today, Steven and Mason start their work on the app. I already devised a work schedule and prepared the scripts they'll work on first, but Lex hasn't gone through it yet.

It won't do any harm to hand them my schedule, so I head downstairs. A mini heart attack strikes me as soon as I enter the Troll's Lair.

He is there. Lex is at his desk with the guys.

Is he avoiding me, or is he needed down here?

"Hi, guys," I say, hoping I sound natural. They lift their heads and greet me back, except Lex, who imperceptibly tenses.

Oliver gives me a wink and a grin when our eyes meet on my way to Steven, and I smile back, admittedly awkwardly.

I spend a solid hour there, talking to Steven, then Mace. They don't seem to take the fact that I'm the project leader poorly, even though I'm the most recent hire. They are above that and are also very aware of the commendable work I did with this app.

Even when I'm back up to Lex's empty office, I can't fully relax. Despite trying to focus, I'm constantly distracted by the fact that he might come in at any second. Every time I hear someone's footsteps, I tense, and every single time someone knocks on a door in the hallway, my heart drops—even though Lex doesn't knock, a fact I'm painfully aware of.