⸻ FOURTY ⸻

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Oliver tries to process what he just witnessed, his mouth parted in a silent accusation

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Oliver tries to process what he just witnessed, his mouth parted in a silent accusation.

I remain unmoving as Lex slowly rises from the armchair. He stands next to me, ready to face whatever is coming. The traces of the intense kiss we exchanged are still on his flushed face and messy hair, and I'm sure they are also on me.

In Oliver's eyes, I can perceive heartbreak and betrayal. Fuck, why did this have to happen like this? When I was so close to telling him?

"Oli, I—" I start, but a rush of humiliation clogs my throat, in the back of which I can almost taste bile. I never wanted to hurt him.

I need to explain, to make sense of this situation, but guilt paralyzes me. Before I can come up with something to say, Oli steps back into the hallway and closes the door behind him, leaving me with Lex.

When I look up at Lex to find some comfort, all I see is remorse. Why does he look so guilty? It doesn't make any sense. Without him being so reasonable, Oli would have found us in an even more compromising position.

"Andrea, I'm sorry. I didn't want this to—" He hesitates, struggling to find the words.

Regret. There's undeniable regret in his voice.

An insidious, unwelcome thought claws its way into my head. But it's too manipulative and cunning, and Lex isn't like that. We discussed this; he knows how scared I am about my colleagues knowing the truth. He knows I wanted to preserve Oli's feelings.

Lex wouldn't do this to me.

Right?

"Tell me you didn't know he was coming," I beg.

But he doesn't answer, doesn't try to deny it, to reassure me, to lie... Instead of innocence, his eyes only display more and more shame. My heart pounds as wild, terrifying thoughts swell into my mind.

No... No, no, no... This can't be happening.

"Why?" I can barely contain the outrage in my voice.

Lex hesitates, his eyes locked on mine, trying to gauge the words that could appease me. "He needed to know. It was the right thing to do."

"He didn't need to learn about it like this!"

"You've been leading him on for weeks. It was the merciful thing to do." My jaw drops with outrage. Is he being serious right now? His accusation is so unfair, wrong, unjustified...

My voice is too loud when I speak again, but I can't contain it. "This was cruel, Lex. Not only for Oliver but for me too. And I haven't sent him any mixed signals for weeks."

"Really? Then why is he so certain he still has a chance with you?" His tone is rising too, and it doesn't help my irritation.

"He doesn't! He never even had a chance."

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